O'hara's Choice - Leon Uris [110]
Dixie Jane’s absence over Thanksgiving weighed heavily on Glen.
“I had a talk with Nini. The child put on a tantrum. I can’t believe Dixie Jane preferred to stay in Richmond.”
“She is trying to tell anyone who will listen that she does not like being bounced about.”
“I hoped the effects of the divorce would disappear over time.”
“Sometimes they never do. Dixie Jane is in a position not of her own making, so when she hears anything slightly unpleasant, she takes it as personal rejection.”
“We’ve a beautiful Irish hunter on the farm, as perfect as I’ve ever seen, ready to be saddle-trained. I’m going to pressure Father to let me give the horse to Dixie.”
Pleased with his largesse, Glen rolled a cigar between his palms to soften it. At this time in the procedure, the lady generally took the cigar, nipped the ends, and lit it for him. Lord, even Nini did that! After a moment Glen took the cutter from his vest pocket and did his own decapitating.
“Well, don’t you think this will settle her account? I mean, an Irish hunter of her class.”
“Glen, your family has a very large horse farm. Dixie Jane has been up to the top of her boots in horse caca all her life.”
“Then surely she knows the value of such an animal.”
“She is not looking for something gift-wrapped. She is protesting being abandoned.”
“How the devil can you say that, Amanda? Despite her obvious faults, Nini is a devoted mother. That Dorfman fellow will take some getting used to, but he has a very kindly attitude toward the child. As for me, I intend to spend every living moment making certain she will be with us at Inverness for Christmas.”
Sip, puff, sip, puff. If only Amanda were not so beautiful!
“I am the one Dixie is protesting to,” she said.
“Yes, to hell, I’ll say it. She wants you, almost as much as I want you.”
Amanda heard and watched his discomfort.
“When I saw you and Dixie wrestle, how I wanted to jump in, and how I prayed I could slow the moments watching you sleep on the beach, and how I loved to watch your eyes stop a man in his tracks. What must I do, Amanda? If we make our engagement announcement over the New Year’s, all the gods will shower the earth with passing comets.”
Amanda went to him and lifted his fallen chin.
“I do not love you, Glen.”
He reached about, light-headed, and backed into the sofa, half his life suddenly sucked from him.
“I know that. I’ve always known, but I know that you will grow to love me. At Christmas . . .”
“We are not going to share Christmas or anything further,” she said.
“O’Hara?”
“Yes.”
“What in the name of God is it that you want!” he cried.
“I need to know that I’ll not have to spend my life turning into every corridor looking for him.”
“I feel totally crushed!”
“I cannot imagine anyone being more cruel to you than I am now. And I’ve badly hurt Dixie Jane.”
“Amanda, I beg you . . .”
“No, Glen. I despise myself. I have used you deliberately, from the beginning.”
“And I’ve used you, Amanda. I used Dixie Jane, praying you’d grow inseparable.”
“I love her and I hurt her,” Amanda said, “but Dixie Jane is not enough. Zach and I tried to purge each other from our souls. We have lost the strength to fight it any longer.”
Glen’s worst fears were here. He floundered about and lost the dignity to stave off a flood of self-pity.
“What a peacock I was to have this magnificent creature on my arm. How I long for your body. See here, gentlemen, I’ll not have you baboons slobbering at the sight of her. Amanda Kerr will be mine, belly, breasts, and ass.”
He grunted, emptied his cognac snifter in a gulp, and nearly gagged over it. “Your father know?”
“He will when he returns from his run to Immigrant Reef.”
The terribleness of the moment hung.
“You are going away with him?”
“I plan to leave my father’s home, forever.”
Glen pressed his hands together in a gesture of prayer. “When the madness ends, and it will end—when