On Fire's Wings - Christie Golden [116]
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kevla did not sleep after her encounter with Tahmu. The violence of Halid’s killing, justified as it was, combined with the revelations that the khashim was her father and that Jashemi had been her half brother, kept her awake. The sa’abah curled up next to her, seeking her warmth and wheezing softly, and she tried to take what comfort she could from another living being.
She did not weep. She wondered if she would ever do so again. She felt desiccated and empty, only her mind alive, gnawing like a starving dog on a dry bone.
She made a decision. Both the heat and the cold were hard on her mount, but it seemed most affected by the chilly desert nights. Sa’abahs were herd animals, and no doubt at night they curled up together to keep one another warm. She would ride at night and sleep during the day; the exertion would keep her mount more comfortable. Clucking her tongue, she roused the sleepy sa’abah, mounted, and rode.
The days and nights blended into one another until Kevla lost count of how long she had been on this, her final journey. The hard ride and lack of food and water were starting to take their toll on the sa’abah. The path would not get easier, either. Few made the pilgrimage to Mount Bari itself, preferring instead to erect local shrines and altars to the Great Dragon as the Clan of Four Waters had done.
Compassion for the mute creature flooded her. The next settlement she came to, she traded the beast for a sack of dried fruit and meat and as many filled waterskins as she could carry. She was not challenged; either the greedy clansmen did not recognize her or else, more likely, Tahmu had called off the hunt for her. The khashim had gotten a bargain, for a young, healthy sa’abah was usually an expensive acquisition.
Kevla patted its long neck, kissed its soft nose, and continued on.
Her bare feet hardened to the task, and with each day the pack on her back grew lighter. She walked and slept as the desire took her, regardless of the time of day, and slowly the massive shape of Mount Bari, jagged and forbidding, drew closer.
From time to time, she rested and conjured fire. She had no need of it for warmth or cooking purposes, nor did she have any desire to see her father.
“Show me the Great Dragon,” she asked, but the fire never complied. She felt certain, though, when the time was right, she would see in the flames the enormous, terrifying creature that until so recently had haunted her dreams.
She also was aware that she was falling into a pattern that offered its own sort of comfort. She ate much less now than she had when she was at the House. A thin strip of dried meat and a handful of dried fruit seemed to be enough to get her through an entire day. Even though she was walking out in the desert, under an unforgiving sun, she seemed to need very little water as well.
She realized she was slowly detaching herself from the world of the living. She was not walking toward anything of this life; she was walking toward death. Bit by bit, she was deliberately pulling back, shedding things that kept her in this existence. To her shock, she sometimes felt a stab of happiness as she strode steadily along and the wind tousled her hair. The pain and the guilt were still there, but there was a lightness to her being that increased with each day that brought her closer to Mount Bari.
Gradually, Kevla worked her way through her supplies. She felt a brief stab of worry as she squeezed the last few drops of water into her mouth, washing down the last bite of dried fruit, then calmed herself. She knew she was on the right path. Whatever the Dragon decreed to be her end, she would accept.
She fell into an exhausted, dreamless slumber and awoke to a smell teasing her nostrils; a crisp, citrus scent that made her mouth water. She slowly opened her eyes, then started upright when she saw a plate of paraah spread before her. Four of her waterskins had been refilled.
Kevla’s heart raced. She glanced around, trying to see who had done this for her. She saw no one, only the vast expanse of sand