On Fire's Wings - Christie Golden [42]
Kevla lowered her eyes again. “I do not understand.”
“I saw the hurt on your face,” he said gently, stepping closer to her. She felt the soft puff of his breath on her cheek. “When I said you shouldn’t be with me.”
“My lord, you were right to say that. I overstepped.”
He made an annoyed sound. “Kevla, please let me apologize!”
“Of course. As the khashimu wishes.”
There was a pause. Then he said, “I am leaving tomorrow. Will—will you miss me?”
Her heart almost stopped. “Of course. I shall say prayers for the safety of my lord and my lord’s son.”
“Kevla, I—” She would not—could not—look at him. She knew what he wanted to hear, and she couldn’t speak it. Not when she was Bai-sha and he was khashimu.
“Never mind. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I don’t know what I was—” He turned and strode off.
Kevla’s knees buckled and she fell hard to the earth. A quick sob escaped her and she clapped her hand over her mouth. He was already several paces away, but somehow he heard the soft sound. Kevla huddled on the sand, her head on her hands, willing him to go away. Before she realized what he had done, he was on his hands and knees in front of her.
“Kevla, talk to me,” he implored.
She mustn’t say it. She mustn’t say anything. But the words seemed to have a life of their own.
“I’m afraid,” she whispered. “I’m so afraid something will happen to you.”
“Look at me,” he said. She did, and found his face seemed blurry to her. She wiped angrily at the telltale tears. “I know you’re afraid,” he said softly. “I am, too. So is Father, and so are all the men. We all know we could be riding to our deaths.”
He swore suddenly, a harsh curse that startled Kevla. “I hate these stupid raids! Why must people die like this? My uncle was not the most admirable of men, but he did not deserve to have his throat cut while he slept!”
“Perhaps the Sa’abah Clan—” began Kevla.
“It’s not just them,” he snarled. “It’s all of them. We could just as easily be riding against the Star Clan or the Horserider Clan tonight as riding with them. They’re our allies now, but we’ve fought them in the past. And we have allied with the Sa’abah Clan, and look what they’ve done.” He continued to fume in silence, his lips pressed together in a thin line of anger.
“Come back,” said Kevla, softly, shocked by her boldness.
His eyes searched hers, then he startled her by reaching out and taking her hands in his. Their palms pressed together, hot and moist in the darkness. Tears continued to slip down her cheeks. He leaned forward, releasing one hand to wipe the tears from her face with an odd mixture of grace and clumsiness. Starlight caught the glitter of tears in his own eyes.
“I will come back,” he said firmly.
“But only the Great Dragon knows our destinies,” she replied, her voice catching on the words.
Jashemi placed one hand on either side of her face, forcing her to look into his eyes.
“We are not done with each other yet,” he said fiercely. “I don’t know my destiny, but I know this much. I can feel it. Can’t you?”
As she gazed into his eyes, she felt a sudden lightening. Her tense muscles eased, relaxing so that she almost slumped. He was right. Somehow, in a way that surpassed her understanding, she knew that he was right. What she felt swirling inside her now was not something as frail as hope. It was swift, certain knowledge.
Some would die in this retaliatory raid. Perhaps people she knew. Perhaps even Tahmu.
But not Jashemi.
We are not done with each other yet.
Chapter Nine
The warriors departed the next morning. Kevla had lined up with the other servants to watch the warriors march through the courtyard and down the road that led past the twining Four Waters and beyond.
As the ones who had issued the rallying cry, the members of the Clan of Four Waters were the last ones to depart. Kevla stood properly clad in the veil in front of so many male strangers at such a formal function. Most rode horses, a very few rode sa’abahs—Ranna nudged Tiah and muttered, “They