On the Steamy Side - Louisa Edwards [120]
Ah, God. “You heard all that, huh?” Devon said around the crack in his heart. “And that’s why you left.”
Tucker became very interested in the collar of Devon’s shirt, his thin, artist’s fingers coming up to twist and pull at the seam. “I thought maybe . . . it was because of me. And maybe if I left, Lolly would come back and you could be happy. If I wasn’t there.”
God, please don’t let me start sobbing like a baby right now.
“Look at me.” It took a second, but the kid raised wary blue eyes to meet Devon’s. “I was wrong to say those things. Not just because they made Lilah very unhappy—I was the one who made her leave, Tuck, not you—but because they weren’t true. They were the opposite of true.”
Devon took a deep breath and threw himself off the cliff.
“The truth is, Tuck, I can’t be happy if you’re not here.”
Tucker ducked his head again, but this time it was to hide a goofy grin. “Really? ’Cuz I wished I didn’t leave. I walked for a long time, and then when I wanted to come back, none of the streets sounded right and I didn’t know where I was and I didn’t know your phone number. So I called Mom at the place where the cop lady said she’d be, and she came and got me.”
Devon finally became aware of the world beyond his son. Christ, there was Heather, right there. She looked tired and sad, and older then he remembered. Well, of course she was. It had been years since he’d seen her—and evidently, they’d been hard years.
He didn’t know what he’d thought he’d feel when confronted with the person who brought Tucker back to him. It was complicated, too, by the fact that in some ways, Heather was the person who’d taken Tucker away . . . except Devon couldn’t fool himself about that. He’d started this whole nightmare in motion himself by letting his son think he wasn’t wanted.
Still, he’d imagined some anger, some uncontrollable need to lash out at the cause of the worst few hours of his life. But when he looked at Heather, all he felt was gratitude.
Their eyes connected. He wondered if she was thinking about the same thing he was, the heady whirlwind of their relationship. For all the screaming matches and fights and bad feelings and broken promises, something good had come out of it.
“Thank you,” Devon said. He hardly recognized his own voice, it sounded so sincere. “For bringing Tucker here today. For giving me temporary custody in the first place. I swear, I’ll do a better job of taking care of him from now on.”
He heard the click of her throat as she swallowed. “Yeah, you will,” she said, breath hitching. “Because I can’t right now. In fact, I need to get back.”
“No!” Tucker wiggled hard enough that Devon nearly dropped him. Which seemed to be what the kid was after, actually, because he pushed on Devon’s shoulder and kicked his legs until his feet touched the ground. Reluctant as his arms were to open up and let Tucker go, Devon found himself unable to begrudge Heather the bittersweet joy of her good-bye hug from Tucker.
Who was not happy at this new turn of events. “Why?” he yelled. “Why can’t we all just stay together? There’s plenty of room here, you could stay, Mom. Dad and Lolly don’t mind, right?”
Devon’s mind went blank, but luckily Lilah was there, jumping in with, “Oh, sugar pop, of course your daddy doesn’t mind. But your momma has somewhere she needs to be. Just for a little while, yet.”
“I’m sorry,” Heather said, burying her face in Tucker’s hair. “I’m so sorry, kiddo. But I’ll work hard, I promise, so I can come back to you soon. And when I do,” she glanced up at Devon, “your dad and I will have a long talk about the best way to go forward. So you can have us both, and we can share our time with you. Because you deserve two parents who love you very much.”
Her words unlocked something inside Devon.
Love. That’s what Tucker deserved. And Devon could absolutely give him that. Was helpless to do anything else, really, as terrifying as that thought was now that he’d had proof of just how painful love could be.
Love was the ultimate act of courage, he understood