On Writing Romance_ How to Craft a Novel That Sells - Leigh Michaels [129]
• Too much internalization. The readers hear all about the character's thoughts—more than they want to—but they don't have any real reason to care.
• Cutting sarcasm, or arguments that are filled with anger to the exclusion of opinions, logic, and respect. When name-calling takes the place of discussion, it's hard to like any of the people involved.
3. There isn't anything forcing the main characters to stay in the situation.
If he dislikes her (even though he thinks she has a great body) and she detests him (even though he's quite a hunk), there isn't anything preventing one or the other from just walking away. What makes it necessary for them to stay in contact long enough to discover that their attraction to each other is really love? If you can't state in one sentence the reason your hero and heroine need each other, that reason needs redefining.
Symptoms of this malady include:
• A hero and heroine who have very little to say to each other. If there's something forcing them to stay together, they'll have that issue to talk about. If they're talking about nothing, maybe they need more of a reason to be together in the first place.
• Characters who are motivated to oppose each other by petty irritation rather than by real disagreement. Are they just sniping at each other rather than discussing a substantial problem? If they pick at each other rather than talk about opinions and feelings and events, there may be no reason for them to be together.
• Characters who are too cozy and comfortable together. If they get along so well, what's keeping them from solving the main problem?
• A hero and heroine who are often separated instead of in the same physical space. When they're not together, there's no interaction—so the lack of something to talk about may not be obvious. And if they're not together, perhaps it's because there's no reason for them to spend time with each other.
4. The romance is not kept at the heart of the book. The other parts of the novel—the mystery of the missing money, the child in need, the past history of hero or heroine, the subplot involving secondary characters—are sometimes more fun and are often easier to write than the immediate interaction between the main characters.
But the readers want to see a developing relationship—fondness, trust, liking—between the characters. The rest of the story, important though it is, serves as the background for the romance.
Symptoms of this malady include:
• Main characters who don't seem to have anything to talk about. People who are interested in each other will be asking questions, exploring opinions, and finding out more about the other person.
• Main characters who argue rather than just talk. Even characters who are very much opposed to each other will—if they're honestly interested in each other—try to find some common ground, something they can talk about without arguing.
• A hero and heroine often separated by the circumstances of the plot. If
the hero and heroine are apart, thinking about each other rather than being actively involved, their feelings for each other can't develop.
• Overly complex plots. Too many events or too much space spent explaining the details of subplots means less time for the developing relationship.
• Too many people in the scenes. If the hero and heroine aren't alone together, it's more difficult for their feelings to develop. Even in a packed auditorium you can isolate your two main characters; move them off to a corner, or let them carry on a whispered private exchange while surrounded by other people.
• Scenes that veer off track. Side issues become more important than the main story, and everybody—author, characters, and readers—forgets what the point of the scene was. Or the family history and in-depth views of secondary characters distract readers from the main