On Writing Romance_ How to Craft a Novel That Sells - Leigh Michaels [92]
Since the readers are in the mind of the heroine (only rarely is the hero a first-person narrator), they can't know what the hero is thinking or feeling. Your heroine/narrator may believe she's got him figured out, but she—and the readers—can't know for certain whether she's correct. The readers can hear what the hero says, see what he looks like, and draw conclusions from things like tone of voice, word choice, and slant of eyebrow. The readers' conclusions may not always agree with the heroine's, and there's no way to know who is right unless
the hero says so. And even then, the readers can't be sure that what the hero says is the whole truth. Because of all these unknowns, first person creates mystery and suspense for the readers.
The success of first-person stories depends on the personality of the narrator. If the main character is funny, breezy, and sympathetic, a friendly soul who doesn't show off or display false modesty, then she's likely to win the readers' hearts. If she yaks about how wonderful she is (or how smart, ugly, overweight, beautiful, depressed, well organized, or forgiving), if she dwells on unkind thoughts, or if she acts like a victim, then she's apt to place high in the contest for which heroine readers would most like to slap silly.
The difference between these two types of characters is very small. One reader will detest a character that other readers adore. (Bridget Jones, from Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones's Diary, is a good example of a character readers either love or hate.)
The best first-person narrators are nice people despite interesting flaws. They're people you'd like to know better, people who amuse you rather than lecture you. They simply tell the story and let the readers deduce motives, explanations, and justifications on their own.
The least successful first-person narrators are constantly conscious of the readers—not only talking to them but justifying what they're doing, explaining, and assuming that their every thought will be of compelling interest.
Though chick-lit, hen-lit, and mom-lit are considered cutting-edge books, where POV is concerned, they're almost a throwback to early romances, which shared only the heroine's feelings and thoughts, leaving the hero a mystery.
In this example from Sophie Kinsella's chick-lit novel Confessions of a Shopaholic, notice the first-person heroine's observations of the man on the train. By dismissing his clothes as lower class, she's not only judging him but showing herself as shallow:
The tube stops in a tunnel ... Five minutes go by, then ten minutes. I can't believe my bad luck. ...
[U]ntil I've got that scarf in my hands I won't be able to relax.
As the train finally gets going again I sink into my seat with a dramatic sigh and look at the pale, silent man on my left. He's wearing jeans and sneakers, and I notice his shirt is on inside out. ... I take another look at his jeans (really nasty fake 501s) and his sneakers (very new, very white). ...
"They just don't think, do they?" I say. "I mean, some of us have got crucial things we need to be doing. I'm in a terrible hurry!"
"I'm in a bit of a hurry myself," says the man.
"If that train hadn't started moving, I don't know what I would have done." I shake my head. "You feel so ... impotent!"
"I know exactly what you mean," says the man intensely. "They don't realize that some of us ..." He gestures toward me. "We aren't just idly traveling. It matters whether we arrive or not."
"Absolutely!" I say. "Where are you off to?"
"My wife's in labor," he says. "Our fourth. ... How about you? What's your urgent business?"
Oh God. ... I can't tell this man that my urgent business consists of picking up a scarf from Denny and George.
I mean, a scarf. It's not even a suit or a coat, or something worthy like that.
The heroine redeems herself—if only barely—by realizing that her own mission is hardly as important as his and by not continuing to whine about her own problems. Kinsella has carefully walked a fine line here; some readers