Other People's Money [108]
a feeling of evident irritation; but, the more haughty and brutal his manners, the cooler and the more self-possessed I became.
"'And you are soliciting assistance?' he said.
"I drew myself up, and, looking at him straight in the eyes,
"'I beg your pardon,' I replied: 'it is a legitimate indemnity which I claim.'
"Indeed, it seemed to me that my firmness alarmed him. With a feverish haste, he began to feel in his pockets. He took out their contents of gold and bank-notes all in a heap, and, thrusting it into my hands without counting,
"'Here,' he said, 'take this. Are you satisfied?'
"I observed to him, that, having sent a letter to Mme. de Thaller, it would perhaps be proper to await her answer. But he replied that it was not necessary, and, pushing me towards the door,
"You may depend upon it,' he said, 'I shall tell my wife that I saw you.'
"I started to go out; but I had not gone ten steps across the yard, when I heard him crying excitedly to his servants,
"'You see that beggar, don't you? Well, the first one who allows her to cross the threshold of my door shall be turned out on the instant.'
"A beggar, I! Ah the wretch! I turned round to cast his alms into his face; but already he had disappeared, and I only found before me the footman, chuckling stupidly.
"I went out; and, as my anger gradually passed off, I felt thankful that I had been unable to follow the dictates of my wounded pride.
"'Poor girl,' I thought to myself, 'where would you be at this hour? You would only have to select between suicide and the vilest existence; whereas now you are above want.'
"I was passing before a small restaurant. I went in; for I was very hungry, having, so to speak, eaten nothing for several days past. Besides, I felt anxious to count my treasure. The Baron de Thaller had given me nine hundred and thirty francs.
"This sum, which exceeded the utmost limits of my ambition, seemed inexhaustible to me: I was dazzled by its possession.
"'And yet,' I thought, 'had M. de Thaller happened to have ten thousand francs in his pockets he would have given them to me all the same.'
"I was at a loss to explain this strange generosity. Why his surprise when he first saw me, then his anger, and his haste to get rid of me? How was it that a man whose mind must be filled with the gravest cares had so distinctly remembered me, and the letter I had written to his wife? Why, after showing himself so generous, had he so strictly excluded me from his house?
"After vainly trying for some time to solve this riddle, I concluded that I must be the victim of my own imagination; and I turned my attention to making the best possible use of my sudden fortune. On the same day, I took a little room in the Faubourg St. Denis; and I bought myself a sewing-machine. Before the week was over, I had work before me for several months. Ah! this time it seemed indeed that I had nothing more to apprehend from destiny; and I looked forward, without fear, to the future. At the end of a month, I was earning four to five francs a day, when, one afternoon, a stout man, very well dressed, looking honest and good-natured, and speaking French with some difficulty, made his appearance at my room. He was an American he stated, and had been sent to me by the woman for whom I worked. Having need of a skilled Parisian work-woman, he came to propose to me to follow him to New York, where he would insure me a brilliant position.
"But I knew several poor girls, who, on the faith of dazzling promises, had expatriated themselves. Once abroad, they had been shamefully abandoned, and had been driven, to escape starvation, to resort to the vilest expedients. I refused, therefore, and frankly gave him my reasons for doing so.
"My visitor at once protested indignantly. Whom did I take him for? It was a fortune that I was refusing. He guaranteed me in New York board, lodging, and two hundred francs a month. He would pay all traveling and moving expenses. And, to prove to me the fairness of his intentions, he was
"'And you are soliciting assistance?' he said.
"I drew myself up, and, looking at him straight in the eyes,
"'I beg your pardon,' I replied: 'it is a legitimate indemnity which I claim.'
"Indeed, it seemed to me that my firmness alarmed him. With a feverish haste, he began to feel in his pockets. He took out their contents of gold and bank-notes all in a heap, and, thrusting it into my hands without counting,
"'Here,' he said, 'take this. Are you satisfied?'
"I observed to him, that, having sent a letter to Mme. de Thaller, it would perhaps be proper to await her answer. But he replied that it was not necessary, and, pushing me towards the door,
"You may depend upon it,' he said, 'I shall tell my wife that I saw you.'
"I started to go out; but I had not gone ten steps across the yard, when I heard him crying excitedly to his servants,
"'You see that beggar, don't you? Well, the first one who allows her to cross the threshold of my door shall be turned out on the instant.'
"A beggar, I! Ah the wretch! I turned round to cast his alms into his face; but already he had disappeared, and I only found before me the footman, chuckling stupidly.
"I went out; and, as my anger gradually passed off, I felt thankful that I had been unable to follow the dictates of my wounded pride.
"'Poor girl,' I thought to myself, 'where would you be at this hour? You would only have to select between suicide and the vilest existence; whereas now you are above want.'
"I was passing before a small restaurant. I went in; for I was very hungry, having, so to speak, eaten nothing for several days past. Besides, I felt anxious to count my treasure. The Baron de Thaller had given me nine hundred and thirty francs.
"This sum, which exceeded the utmost limits of my ambition, seemed inexhaustible to me: I was dazzled by its possession.
"'And yet,' I thought, 'had M. de Thaller happened to have ten thousand francs in his pockets he would have given them to me all the same.'
"I was at a loss to explain this strange generosity. Why his surprise when he first saw me, then his anger, and his haste to get rid of me? How was it that a man whose mind must be filled with the gravest cares had so distinctly remembered me, and the letter I had written to his wife? Why, after showing himself so generous, had he so strictly excluded me from his house?
"After vainly trying for some time to solve this riddle, I concluded that I must be the victim of my own imagination; and I turned my attention to making the best possible use of my sudden fortune. On the same day, I took a little room in the Faubourg St. Denis; and I bought myself a sewing-machine. Before the week was over, I had work before me for several months. Ah! this time it seemed indeed that I had nothing more to apprehend from destiny; and I looked forward, without fear, to the future. At the end of a month, I was earning four to five francs a day, when, one afternoon, a stout man, very well dressed, looking honest and good-natured, and speaking French with some difficulty, made his appearance at my room. He was an American he stated, and had been sent to me by the woman for whom I worked. Having need of a skilled Parisian work-woman, he came to propose to me to follow him to New York, where he would insure me a brilliant position.
"But I knew several poor girls, who, on the faith of dazzling promises, had expatriated themselves. Once abroad, they had been shamefully abandoned, and had been driven, to escape starvation, to resort to the vilest expedients. I refused, therefore, and frankly gave him my reasons for doing so.
"My visitor at once protested indignantly. Whom did I take him for? It was a fortune that I was refusing. He guaranteed me in New York board, lodging, and two hundred francs a month. He would pay all traveling and moving expenses. And, to prove to me the fairness of his intentions, he was