Paragon Walk - Anne Perry [39]
She looked around for something harmless to throw at him, but the only thing to hand was the lemonade jug, which would hurt, not to mention break the jug, which they could ill afford. She had to settle for making a face.
“Didn’t you learn anything?” he pressed.
“I don’t think so. Only what Emily had already told me. I got lots of odd impressions, but I don’t know what they mean, or even if they mean anything at all. I had umpteen things to tell you before you came, but now they seem to have frittered away. All the Nashes are unpleasant, except perhaps Diggory. I didn’t really get to meet him, but he has a bad reputation. Selena and Jessamyn loathe each other, but that can’t be relevant; it’s all to do with the most gorgeous Frenchman. The only people who seemed to be really upset were Phoebe—she really was terribly white and shaky—and a man called Hallam Cayley. And I don’t know whether he was upset for Fanny, or because his own wife died only a little while ago.” It had seemed so much when it was all a tumult of feelings in her mind, but now that she wanted to put words to it, there was nothing. It sounded so silly, so ephemeral that she was a little ashamed. She was a policeman’s wife, she should have had something concrete to tell him. How did he ever solve a case if all witnesses were as woolly as she was?
He sighed and stood up, walking in his socks over to the kitchen sink. He ran the cold water and put his hands under it, then splashed it up over his face. He held out his hands for the towel, and she brought it.
“Don’t worry.” He took it from her. “I didn’t expect to learn anything there.”
“You didn’t expect to?” She was confused. “You mean you were there?”
He dried his face and looked up at her over the towel.
“Not to learn anything—just—because I wanted to.” She felt the tears prickle hot behind her eyes and her throat ache. She had not even seen him. She had been busy watching everyone else, and thinking how she looked in Aunt Vespasia’s dress.
At least Fanny had had one real mourner, someone who was simply sorry she was dead.
Emily had no one with whom she could discuss her feelings. Aunt Vespasia did not consider it good for her to dwell on such things. It would produce a melancholic baby, she said. And George was unwilling to speak of it at all. In fact, he went noticeably out of his way to avoid it.
Everyone else in the Walk seemed determined to forget the entire subject, as if Fanny had merely gone away for a holiday and might be expected to return at any time. They resumed their lives, as much as propriety would permit, still wearing sober dress, of course, as to do anything else would be tasteless. But there appeared to be an unspoken consensus that the very indecency of the manner of death made the usual observances of mourning a reminder of it, and therefore a little vulgar, possibly even offensive to others.
The only exception was Fulbert Nash, who had never minded giving offense. In fact, he appeared at times positively to relish it. He made sly, delicate suggestions about almost everyone. There was nothing decisive, nothing that one could question him with, but the swift color in people’s faces betrayed when he had hit a mark. Perhaps they were old secrets he was referring to; everyone had something of which they were ashamed, or at least would very much prefer to keep from their neighbors. Perhaps the secrets were not witty so much as merely foolish? But then no one wished to be laughed at either, and some would go to great lengths to prevent it. Ridicule could be as deadly to one’s social aspirations as a report of any of the ordinary sins.
It was a week after the funeral, and still hot, when Emily finally decided to go and ask Charlotte directly what the police were doing. There had been a lot more questions put, mostly to servants, but if anyone were either suspected or totally cleared, she had not heard of it.
Having sent a letter the day before to warn Charlotte she was coming, she put on a muslin from last year and sent for the carriage to