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Party Girl_ A Novel - Anna David [22]

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Alex is the only one of the three who delivers, he tends to get the bulk of our business. Jane nods, so after giving each of them an Amstel Light, I page Alex. My mouth literally starts watering after the beeper pause when I punch my digits into the phone and press pound and I think I can actually feel my serotonin levels rise as I hear the long beep that tells me my phone number has been read. People’s anticipation of coke can be so Pavlovian that I know a guy who says he has to go to the bathroom as soon as he calls his dealer since the coke he buys is always cut with baby laxatives.

At seventy bucks a pop, Alex provides the best deal in town for door-to-door service but his coke sometimes tastes and smells so strongly of gasoline that, as it makes its way up your nose and begins its drip down your esophagus, you can’t help but envision the tanks it was stored in for its trip from Mexico. Inevitably someone will always complain when we’re doing Alex that they feel like they’ve strolled down to the nearest 76 station and started inhaling directly from a pump and someone else usually points out that inhaling gas probably isn’t that much worse than inhaling pure cocaine.

Alex is as timely as ever, and twenty minutes to the second after he returns my page, his Toyota Tercel pulls into my building’s driveway. I have about ten neighbors who could look outside and see me doing my deal with Alex—he pulls up, I hand him an envelope filled with $140, usually in twenties, and he hands me a similar envelope, with two grams, each folded neatly into Lotto tickets—and during my more paranoid moments, I’m convinced that my neighbors make a sport out of watching me buy my drugs and secretly gossip about what a bad person I am. It has to be obvious—I mean, who else but a person buying drugs would exchange envelopes with a Mexican guy she never speaks to?—but either they don’t find my behavior all that notable, aren’t watching me, or simply don’t care because no one has ever uttered a word about it or wandered out while Alex has been there and gazed at me suspiciously.

Inside, Jane and I each chop up lines from our separate bindles as Stephanie busies herself playing with my makeup. Stephanie’s relationship with our coke snorting is sort of the same as the one my parents have with my smoking. It’s done—rather blatantly, as a matter of fact—but it seems to still go unseen. As I watch Jane roll up a twenty, I pack up my supply for the night. I usually carry the coke I bring out with me in a bullet that’s attached to my car key chain—such a ridiculously asinine move in terms of getting busted that it’s probably akin only to keeping a beer holder on your steering wheel—but I couldn’t resist its cool practicality when I saw it for sale at the Pleasure Chest.

We do our lines in silence while Stephanie drinks until Jane says that the gasoline smell is giving her a headache and Stephanie suggests we get to Steve’s before it gets completely overrun by fake-titted aspiring actresses looking for their next casting couch.

The party is even bigger than I expected it to be, and during the initial circle that Stephanie, Jane, and I make around the indoor and outdoor bar areas, I feel my skin tingle with excitement over all the promise the evening holds. I remember how much that tingle kept me going when my love affair with partying started back when I was a sophomore or junior in high school. It would build from a sense of excited anticipation I usually had the day of an event—anticipation that was typically far more enjoyable than the actual party—and grow as I strolled around a place, marveling at all the potentially exciting things that could happen to me that night.

Somehow, seeing the odd celebrity—Nicky Hilton talking to a stylist I once interviewed, Colin Farrell laughing with Selma Blair as they wait in line for the bathroom—only enhances my excitement. If these celebrated people could go anywhere they wanted to and they chose to come here, “here” must really be amazing. It’s usually not until a good hour later, when I realize that nothing

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