Pathways - Jeri Taylor [126]
“We frequently switched roles. I thought it was important that each member of the team have the opportunity to take charge, to get experience in the leadership position. And this was a routine exercise, one we’d performed many times. It seemed the perfect time to let Bruno—Cadet Katajavuori—head up the team.”
“And what, in your mind, was the cause for the accident?”
“For some reason, Bruno held his dive a few seconds longer than he should. I can’t explain it. He must’ve misjudged his distance somehow. The second and third ships in the echelon—Cadets Day and Launay—didn’t have enough time to react, and impacted with the asteroid.”
“But you didn’t.”
“As the trailing vessel, I had a second or so to realize what had happened. My ship got tossed pretty badly by the shock wave from the explosions, but I was able to avoid hitting the asteroid.”
“I would imagine your piloting skills helped you there.”
“Maybe so. I think I was just lucky.”
There was a brief pause as the admirals reviewed their notes. “Tactical logs indicate you did fire your phasers. How did you manage that in the middle of this catastrophe?”
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t have any memory of it. I was ready to fire, of course, ready to follow Odile in as soon as she pulled up. I must have done it instinctively.”
The admirals exchanged looks. “Is there anything else you think might be pertinent, Cadet?”
“No, sir, I think that covers it. But I would like to say, for the record, that Cadets Day, Katajavuori, and Launay were three of the best that Starfleet will ever encounter. It was my honor to be their friend. I don’t believe Cadet Katajavuori’s mishap should in any way be held against him. We all make mistakes. I also accept responsibility for the fact that assigning him to be team leader was my idea. If I hadn’t done that, they might be alive today.”
There was silence then, a sudden vacuum that left Tom light-headed. He could feel his heart slamming in his chest, and wondered if the others could hear it.
Finally, Admiral Brand spoke. “Cadet Paris, this has been a tragedy of terrible proportions. The loss of three young lives, lives with such great potential, has left their families bereft and all of us at Starfleet sobered.
“But we are aware that it has been a terrible loss for you, as well. It is not our desire to make you suffer any more than you have already.”
Brand paused and glanced briefly at Admiral Paris. “You come of a long line of Starfleet luminaries. Any one of them would tell you that losing those you’ve worked with closely is devastating. But we’ve all been through it. If there is any good to come of this catastrophe, it may be in serving to help you become a better officer in the future, knowing as you do the awful penalty for error. Dismissed.”
Tom felt his muscles release so suddenly that he was afraid he was going to collapse to the floor. He clutched the sides of the chair and then, as the room began to swim, lowered his head so blood could run into it. Presently he felt stable enough to lift his head, and when he did, his father was kneeling in front of him. Wordlessly, Owen Paris put his hands on the sides of Tom’s face, and gazed at him with unabashed concern. “All right,” he said softly, “all right. It’ll be all right.” And at that, Tom burst into tears.
“Set a course, Ensign. Warp six.”
“Aye, sir,” said Tom, now Ensign Thomas Paris, as he keyed in controls that would guide the U.S.S. Copernicus to Betazed. He was eight months into his posting to this Oberth-class ship, a science vessel assigned to collect data on solar winds and magnetic fields in several Alpha Quadrant systems. It wasn’t the most thrilling mission in the world, but that was all right with Tom. He wasn’t looking for excitement and he wasn’t looking for challenges. He put in his duty shift each day, spent several hours in the gym keeping himself in shape, unwound with a few synthehol ales in the evening, spent a night of dreamless sleep, then