Peace [3]
the furthest end of the dome of
heaven.
TRYGAEUS
But why have they left you all alone here?
HERMES
I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and
pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars.
TRYGAEUS
And why have the gods moved away?
HERMES
Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War
in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to
do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever
they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of
your prayers.
TRYGAEUS
What reason have they for treating us so?
HERMES
Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more
than once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the
very slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren!
the Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter
triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would
say, "By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not
hear a word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."
TRYGAEUS
Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in.
HERMES
So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again.
TRYGAEUS
Why, where has she gone to then?
HERMES
War has cast her into a deep pit.
TRYGAEUS
Where?
HERMES
Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones
he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out
again.
TRYGAEUS
Tell me, what is War preparing against us?
HERMES
All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar.
TRYGAEUS
And what is he going to do with his mortar?
HERMES
He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I must
say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is
making!
(He departs in haste.)
TRYGAEUS
Ah! great gods let us seek safety; I think I already hear the
noise of this fearful war mortar. (He hides.)
WAR (enters, carrying a huge mortar)
Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched mortals, how your jaws will snap!
TRYGAEUS
Oh! divine Apollo! what a prodigious big mortar! Oh, what misery
the very sight of War causes me! This then is the foe from whom I fly,
who is so cruel, so formidable, so stalwart, so solid on his legs!
WAR
Oh! Prasiae! thrice wretched, five times, aye, a thousand times
wretched! for thou shalt be destroyed this day.
(He throws some leeks into the mortar.)
TRYGAEUS (to the audience)
This, gentlemen, does not concern us over much; it's only so
much the worse for the Laconians.
WAR
Oh! Megara! Megara! utterly are you going to be ground up! what
fine mincemeat are you to be made into!
(He throws in some garlic.)
TRYGAEUS (aside)
Alas! alas! what bitter tears there will be among the Megarians!
WAR (throwing in some cheese)
Oh, Sicily! you too must perish! Your wretched towns shall be
grated like this cheese. Now let us pour some Attic honey into the
mortar.
(He does so.)
TRYGAEUS (aside)
Oh! I beseech you! use some other honey; this kind is worth four
obols; be careful, oh! be careful of our Attic honey.
WAR
Hi! Tumult, you slave there!
TUMULT
What do you want?
WAR
Out upon you! Standing there with folded arms! Take this cuff on
the head for your pains.
TUMULT
Oh! how it stings! Master, have you got garlic in your fist, I
wonder?
WAR
Run and fetch me a pestle.
TUMULT
But we haven't got one; it was only yesterday we moved.
WAR
Go and fetch me one from Athens, and hurry, hurry!
TUMULT
I'll hurry; if I return without one, I shall have
heaven.
TRYGAEUS
But why have they left you all alone here?
HERMES
I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and
pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars.
TRYGAEUS
And why have the gods moved away?
HERMES
Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War
in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to
do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever
they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of
your prayers.
TRYGAEUS
What reason have they for treating us so?
HERMES
Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more
than once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the
very slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren!
the Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter
triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would
say, "By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not
hear a word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."
TRYGAEUS
Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in.
HERMES
So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again.
TRYGAEUS
Why, where has she gone to then?
HERMES
War has cast her into a deep pit.
TRYGAEUS
Where?
HERMES
Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones
he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out
again.
TRYGAEUS
Tell me, what is War preparing against us?
HERMES
All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar.
TRYGAEUS
And what is he going to do with his mortar?
HERMES
He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I must
say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is
making!
(He departs in haste.)
TRYGAEUS
Ah! great gods let us seek safety; I think I already hear the
noise of this fearful war mortar. (He hides.)
WAR (enters, carrying a huge mortar)
Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched mortals, how your jaws will snap!
TRYGAEUS
Oh! divine Apollo! what a prodigious big mortar! Oh, what misery
the very sight of War causes me! This then is the foe from whom I fly,
who is so cruel, so formidable, so stalwart, so solid on his legs!
WAR
Oh! Prasiae! thrice wretched, five times, aye, a thousand times
wretched! for thou shalt be destroyed this day.
(He throws some leeks into the mortar.)
TRYGAEUS (to the audience)
This, gentlemen, does not concern us over much; it's only so
much the worse for the Laconians.
WAR
Oh! Megara! Megara! utterly are you going to be ground up! what
fine mincemeat are you to be made into!
(He throws in some garlic.)
TRYGAEUS (aside)
Alas! alas! what bitter tears there will be among the Megarians!
WAR (throwing in some cheese)
Oh, Sicily! you too must perish! Your wretched towns shall be
grated like this cheese. Now let us pour some Attic honey into the
mortar.
(He does so.)
TRYGAEUS (aside)
Oh! I beseech you! use some other honey; this kind is worth four
obols; be careful, oh! be careful of our Attic honey.
WAR
Hi! Tumult, you slave there!
TUMULT
What do you want?
WAR
Out upon you! Standing there with folded arms! Take this cuff on
the head for your pains.
TUMULT
Oh! how it stings! Master, have you got garlic in your fist, I
wonder?
WAR
Run and fetch me a pestle.
TUMULT
But we haven't got one; it was only yesterday we moved.
WAR
Go and fetch me one from Athens, and hurry, hurry!
TUMULT
I'll hurry; if I return without one, I shall have