Perfect Fit - Brenda Jackson [122]
“So as far as you’re concerned, it never happened?” Sage asked. Her mother was too forgiving, too tolerant and way too nice, she thought.
“No, Sage, it happened; both your father and I know that. We just chose to move on in spite of it. We love each other deeply and wanted nothing or no one to destroy our marriage. The flesh is weak. As sinners we fall down, but then we get up. A person who is truly the child of God would not kick that person back down while he’s struggling to get up.”
Sage stood and walked over to the window and looked out. Sunlight was streaming through. It had rained earlier, and she could see a rainbow in the sky, a beautiful rainbow with a multitude of colors.
She turned back around to face her mother. “So you think I should have been as all-forgiving to Erol as you apparently are to Dad?” she asked in a voice more resentful than she intended it to be, but that couldn’t be helped.
“I’m not saying that, Sage. All I’m saying is that you should forgive Erol, but forgiving someone doesn’t automatically mean reconciliation with that person. It means reparation with that person, making amends, repairing. Although in a committed relationship, a marriage sanctioned by God, it’s not an option to walk away and not try to make things work. There was something in our vows that said ‘for better or for worse.’ You and Erol were not married, just engaged. You hadn’t exchanged any vows before God yet. So if you felt you were not suited for whatever reason, it was best that the two of you parted ways when you did.”
“We weren’t a good match,” Sage said softly.
“Evidently not. If you had been, you would have found it in your heart to not only forgive him, but to put it behind you and move on in spite of it. The love you had for him would have overlooked what he had done once you had forgiven him.”
Sage didn’t say anything for the longest time, deciding she’d rather concentrate on her parents than her and Erol. “So you’ve put what Dad did behind you and moved on?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t cry together, pray together and seek private counseling with Reverend Jones. But we had to take stock in what we had. We had a beautiful daughter we both loved, a lifetime of good memories and a future of just as many more. But what really convinced me was in knowing your father truly loved me, and in me accepting that the flesh is weak. That’s called loving in spite of—which is the same philosophy God uses on us. He loves us in spite of our wrongdoings, our transgressions, and He’s accepting that we’re weak and will make mistakes, a lot of them.”
Sage nodded and turned back to the window. Moments later she turned and met her mother’s gaze. “I wanted to hate him for what he did to you. He disappointed me, and I felt he let me down.”
“That’s why we can’t elevate men, Sage. Men are subject to fail and to sin. Your father has always been superhuman in your eyes. He walked on water as far as you were concerned, and I’m sure it hurt you to find out he can fall to the bottom like anyone else. So can I. What if it had been me that you saw that night instead of your father?”
Sage raised a brow, clearly unable to consider such a thing, and said as much.
“Well, it could have been. During my marriage, several men have approached me, and if I had been under the same type of stress your father had been under … Who knows? I may have yielded to temptation, too.”
“And just what type of stress was he under?”
Delores leaned back against the pillows. “He was going through a lot at work. You know how it is, some companies wanting to push out their older employees for a much younger staff. So your father had to work harder, longer hours to prove he still had what it took. I wasn’t as supportive as I could have been—and I can see that now. While he didn’t tell me everything