Pet Sematary - Stephen King [139]
I thought theyd made that one an unbook, Louis thought, bemused.
Yes, he said, and they stood in a short line at the cash register. Your grandda and I like each other fine, he said and thought again of his mothers story of how when a woman really wanted a baby, she found one. He remembered his own foolish promises to himself that he would never lie to his own children.
Over the last few days he had developed into quite a promising liar, he felt, but he would not let himself think about it now.
Oh, she said and fell silent.
The silence made him uneasy. To break it he said, So do you think youll have a good time in Chicago?
No.
No? Why not?
She looked up at him with that fey expression. Im scared.
He put his hand on her head. Scared? Honey, what for? Youre not scared of the plane, are you?
No, she said. I dont know what Im scared of. Daddy, I dreamed we were at Gages funeral and the funeral man opened his coffin and it was empty. Then I dreamed I was home and I looked in Gages crib and that was empty too. But there was dirt in it.
Lazarus, come forth.
For the first time in months he remembered the dream he had had after Pascows death-the dream, and then waking up to find his feet dirty and the foot of the bed caked with pine needles and muck.
The hairs at the nape of his neck stirred.
Just dreams, he said to Ellie, and his voice sounded, to his ears at least, perfectly normal. Theyll pass.
I wish you were coming with us, she said, or that we were staying here. Can we stay, Daddy? Please? I dont want to go to Grandma and Granddas I just want to go back to school. Okay?
Just for a little while, Ellie, he said. Ive got-he swallowed
-a few things to do here, and then Ill be with you. We can decide what to do next.
He expected an argument, perhaps even an Ellie-style tantrum. He might even have welcomed it-a known quantity, as that look was not. But there was only that pallid, disquieting silence which seemed so deep. He could have asked her more but found he didnt dare; she had already told him more than he perhaps wanted to hear.
Shortly after he and Ellie returned to the boarding lounge, the flight was called. Boarding passes were produced, and the four of them got in line. Louis embraced his wife and kissed her hard.
She clung to him for a moment and then let him go so he could pick Ellie up and buss her cheek.
Ellie gazed at him solemnly with her sibyls eyes. I dont want to go, she said again but so low oniy Louis could really hear over the shuffle and murmur of the boarding passengers. I dont want Mommy to go either.
Ellie, come on, Louis said. Youll be fine.
Ill be fine, she said, but what about you? Daddy, what about you?
The line had begun to move now. People were walking down the jetway to the 727. Rachel pulled Ellies hand and for a moment she resisted, holding up the line, her eyes fixed on her father-and Louis found himself remembering her impatience last time, her cries of come on-come on-come on.
Daddy?
Go now, Ellie. Please.
Rachel looked at Ellie and saw that dark, dreamy look for the first time. Ellie? she said, startled and, Louis thought, a little afraid. Youre holding up the line, baby.
Ellies lips trembled and grew white. Then she allowed herself to be led into the jetway. She looked back at him, and he saw naked terror in her face. He raised his hand to her in false cheeriness.
Ellie did not wave back.
44
As Louis left the BIA terminal building, a cold cloak fell over his mind. He became aware that he meant to go through with this. His mind, which had been sharp enough to get him through med school mostly on a scholarship and what his wife could earn pushing coffee-and-danish on the 5 to 11 A.M. shift six days a week, had taken the problem over and broken it down into components, as if this was just another prelim-the biggest one he had ever taken. And he intended to pass it with an A plus, one hundred percent.
He drove to Brewer, the little city across the Penobscot River
from Bangor. He found a parking spot across the street from Watsons Hardware.
Can I help