Pigs in Heaven - Barbara Kingsolver [25]
“Tell me about it. I lived through most of my teenage years under Uncle Ledger’s eagle eye.”
“But you had nothing to worry about, you were Miss Perfect,” Millie says, wagging her stirring spoon at Annawake.
“Well, of course. I never had a chance.” Annawake knocks back her soda.
“You had to make up for your wild brothers,” Millie says, grinning. “I should have known right there and then not to marry him.”
A Mason jar on the counter at Millie’s elbow is crammed with daisies and wild phlox the kids have picked by the road somewhere; Annawake reaches for the jar and sets it in the exact center of the table. “I think he wishes you’d trust him more with the kids.”
“I trust him. But you still have to tell him what to do.”
Millie’s youngest, Annie, all big dark eyes and belly, stands naked in the doorway. Annawake jumps up from her chair. “Whoah, let’s get a diaper on you, baby doll, before we get puddles.”
“It’s okay, I decided to get her started on potty training today. Figured it’s easier to let her run around that way. Put her out in the yard every hour, like a pup.”
“Millie!”
“I’m kidding. Annie, go show Annawake your potty.”
Annie disappears.
“You’re not going back to the office, are you? On Third Saturday?”
Annawake sighs. “I’m thinking about it. There’s this wild goose I’m chasing down. An illegal adoption.”
“Forget it. Whatever it is will keep.”
“I don’t know.”
Annie reappears in the door with a stuffed bear twice her size. “Pa-pa,” she says.
“You better learn the difference between a teddy bear and a potty seat,” Millie says. “Your time’s about up as baby of the family.”
Annie drops the bear on its head and climbs onto Annawake’s lap. Annawake laces her fingers together over the child’s naked belly, which has the rubbery firmness of a hard-boiled egg. “Dellon hates it when I bring up Gabe,” she tells Millie’s back.
“I don’t think Dell was ever as close to him as you are. You’re his twin. Dell was half grown before you two were born.”
“They’re still brothers.”
“Mm,” she says. She dumps a package of macaroni into the pot of boiling water. “But now he’s got his own kids to worry about.”
“What difference does that make?”
Millie rocks her body to the table and carefully sits down. “None, that’s not what it is. He hates it when you bring up Gabe, because he’s the oldest and he thinks he should have done something to keep the family from getting torn up.”
Annawake looks at Millie’s tired face. The skin under her eyes looks bruised, the way it gets with every pregnancy. The things people go through for love. “It’s not his fault, what happened.”
“Not yours, either, Annawake, and look at you. I think it’s great you went to law school and everything. But you don’t ever stop.”
The egg of Annie slides through Annawake’s hold and vanishes again.
“I’m not blaming myself for Gabe.”
“If you say so. Seems to me like all of you do. Like you’re all married to him, some way.”
They both listen to the small, steady sounds of children in other parts of the house. Annie comes back to the kitchen again, this time dragging her white potty seat. “Bear,” she says.
“What would you do,” Annawake asks Millie, “if you found out somebody was trying to take a Cherokee kid out of the Nation?”
“It’s a whole different thing, asking me that now. You were little when they took Gabriel. I’m not little.”
“That’s what I mean. If it happened right now, what would you do?”
Millie pulls a bedraggled daisy out of the Mason jar and twirls its stem between her thumb and fingers. “It can’t happen now. That’s what we’ve got people like you for, isn’t it? To watch out for the kids.”
Annawake feels the weight of this confidence exactly as if Millie had lovingly sat down upon