plays [3]
no sae muckle's a spune to sup her
parritch wi'. It's unbelievable, it's awful, it's
anti-christian!
MARY. If you only knew them, uncle, what an example you would
make! But tell me, is it not strange that men should dare such
things, in the midst of a city, and nothing, nothing be known of
them - nothing at all?
LESLIE. Little, indeed! But we do know that there are several
in the gang, and that one at least is an unrivalled workman.
LAWSON. Ye're right, sir; ye're vera right, Mr. Leslie. It had
been deponed to me offeecially that no a tradesman - no the
Deacon here himsel' - could have made a cleaner job wi' Andra
Simpson's shutters. And as for the lock o' the bank - but that's
an auld sang.
BRODIE. I think you believe too much, Procurator. Rumour's an
ignorant jade, I tell you. I've had occasion to see some little
of their handiwork - broken cabinets, broken shutters, broken
doors - and I find them bunglers. Why, I could do it better
myself!
LESLIE. Gad, Brodie, you and I might go into partnership. I
back myself to watch outside, and I suppose you could do the work
of skill within?
BRODIE. An opposition company? Leslie, your mind is full of
good things. Suppose we begin to-night, and give the
Procurator's house the honours of our innocence?
MARY. You could do anything, you two!
LAWSON. Onyway, Deacon, ye'd put your ill-gotten gains to a
right use; they might come by the wind but they wouldna gang wi'
the water; and that's aye A SOLATIUM, as we say. If I am to be
robbit, I would like to be robbit wi' decent folk; and no think
o' my bonnie clean siller dirling among jads and dicers. [Faith,
William, the mair I think on't, the mair I'm o' Mr. Leslie's
mind. Come the night, or come the morn, and I'se gie ye my free
permission, and lend ye a hand in at the window forbye!
BRODIE. Come, come, Procurator, lead not our poor clay into
temptation. (LESLIE AND MARY TALK APART.)
LAWSON. I'm no muckle afraid for your puir clay, as ye ca't.]
But hark i' your ear: ye're likely, joking apart, to be gey and
sune in partnership wi' Mr. Leslie. He and Mary are gey and
pack, a body can see that.
[BRODIE. 'Daffin' and want o' wit' - you know the rest.
LAWSON. VIDI, SCIVI, ET AUDIVI, as we say in a Sasine, William.]
Man, because my wig's pouthered do ye think I havena a green
heart? I was aince a lad mysel', and I ken fine by the glint o'
the e'e when a lad's fain and a lassie's willing. And, man, it's
the town's talk; COMMUNIS ERROR FIT JUS, ye ken.
[OLD BRODIE. Oh!
LAWSON. See, ye're hurting your faither's hand.
BRODIE. Dear dad, it is not good to have an ill-tempered son.
LAWSON. What the deevil ails ye at the match? 'Od, man, he has
a nice bit divot o' Fife corn-land, I can tell ye, and some
Bordeaux wine in his cellar! But I needna speak o' the Bordeaux;
ye'll ken the smack o't as weel's I do mysel'; onyway it's grand
wine. TANTUM ET TALE. I tell ye the PRO'S, find you the CON.'S,
if ye're able.]
BRODIE. [I am sorry, Procurator, but I must be short with you.]
You are talking in the air, as lawyers will. I prefer to drop
the subject [and it will displease me if you return to it in my
hearing].
LESLIE. At four o'clock to-morrow? At my house? (TO MARY).
MARY. As soon as church is done. (EXIT MARY.)
LAWSON. Ye needna be sae high and mighty, onyway.
BRODIE. I ask your pardon, Procurator. But we Brodies - you
know our failings! [A bad temper and a humour of privacy.]
LAWSON. Weel, I maun be about my business. But I could tak' a
doch-an-dorach, William; SUPERFLUA NON NOCENT, as we say; an
extra dram hurts naebody, Mr. Leslie.
BRODIE (WITH BOTTLE AND GLASSES). Here's your old friend,
Procurator. Help yourself, Leslie. Oh no, thank you, not any
for me. You strong people have the advantage of me there. With
my attacks, you know, I must always live a bit of a hermit's
life.
LAWSON. 'Od, man, that's fine; that's health o' mind and body.
Mr. Leslie, here's to you,
parritch wi'. It's unbelievable, it's awful, it's
anti-christian!
MARY. If you only knew them, uncle, what an example you would
make! But tell me, is it not strange that men should dare such
things, in the midst of a city, and nothing, nothing be known of
them - nothing at all?
LESLIE. Little, indeed! But we do know that there are several
in the gang, and that one at least is an unrivalled workman.
LAWSON. Ye're right, sir; ye're vera right, Mr. Leslie. It had
been deponed to me offeecially that no a tradesman - no the
Deacon here himsel' - could have made a cleaner job wi' Andra
Simpson's shutters. And as for the lock o' the bank - but that's
an auld sang.
BRODIE. I think you believe too much, Procurator. Rumour's an
ignorant jade, I tell you. I've had occasion to see some little
of their handiwork - broken cabinets, broken shutters, broken
doors - and I find them bunglers. Why, I could do it better
myself!
LESLIE. Gad, Brodie, you and I might go into partnership. I
back myself to watch outside, and I suppose you could do the work
of skill within?
BRODIE. An opposition company? Leslie, your mind is full of
good things. Suppose we begin to-night, and give the
Procurator's house the honours of our innocence?
MARY. You could do anything, you two!
LAWSON. Onyway, Deacon, ye'd put your ill-gotten gains to a
right use; they might come by the wind but they wouldna gang wi'
the water; and that's aye A SOLATIUM, as we say. If I am to be
robbit, I would like to be robbit wi' decent folk; and no think
o' my bonnie clean siller dirling among jads and dicers. [Faith,
William, the mair I think on't, the mair I'm o' Mr. Leslie's
mind. Come the night, or come the morn, and I'se gie ye my free
permission, and lend ye a hand in at the window forbye!
BRODIE. Come, come, Procurator, lead not our poor clay into
temptation. (LESLIE AND MARY TALK APART.)
LAWSON. I'm no muckle afraid for your puir clay, as ye ca't.]
But hark i' your ear: ye're likely, joking apart, to be gey and
sune in partnership wi' Mr. Leslie. He and Mary are gey and
pack, a body can see that.
[BRODIE. 'Daffin' and want o' wit' - you know the rest.
LAWSON. VIDI, SCIVI, ET AUDIVI, as we say in a Sasine, William.]
Man, because my wig's pouthered do ye think I havena a green
heart? I was aince a lad mysel', and I ken fine by the glint o'
the e'e when a lad's fain and a lassie's willing. And, man, it's
the town's talk; COMMUNIS ERROR FIT JUS, ye ken.
[OLD BRODIE. Oh!
LAWSON. See, ye're hurting your faither's hand.
BRODIE. Dear dad, it is not good to have an ill-tempered son.
LAWSON. What the deevil ails ye at the match? 'Od, man, he has
a nice bit divot o' Fife corn-land, I can tell ye, and some
Bordeaux wine in his cellar! But I needna speak o' the Bordeaux;
ye'll ken the smack o't as weel's I do mysel'; onyway it's grand
wine. TANTUM ET TALE. I tell ye the PRO'S, find you the CON.'S,
if ye're able.]
BRODIE. [I am sorry, Procurator, but I must be short with you.]
You are talking in the air, as lawyers will. I prefer to drop
the subject [and it will displease me if you return to it in my
hearing].
LESLIE. At four o'clock to-morrow? At my house? (TO MARY).
MARY. As soon as church is done. (EXIT MARY.)
LAWSON. Ye needna be sae high and mighty, onyway.
BRODIE. I ask your pardon, Procurator. But we Brodies - you
know our failings! [A bad temper and a humour of privacy.]
LAWSON. Weel, I maun be about my business. But I could tak' a
doch-an-dorach, William; SUPERFLUA NON NOCENT, as we say; an
extra dram hurts naebody, Mr. Leslie.
BRODIE (WITH BOTTLE AND GLASSES). Here's your old friend,
Procurator. Help yourself, Leslie. Oh no, thank you, not any
for me. You strong people have the advantage of me there. With
my attacks, you know, I must always live a bit of a hermit's
life.
LAWSON. 'Od, man, that's fine; that's health o' mind and body.
Mr. Leslie, here's to you,