plays [43]
regiment in the service.
MISS FOSTER. I am not surprised that it maintains its old
reputation. You know, my dear (TO DOROTHY), it was George
Austin's regiment.
DOROTHY. Was it, aunt?
ANTHONY. Beau Austin? Yes, it was; and a precious dust they
make about him still - a parcel of old frumps! That's why I went
to see him. But he's quite extinct: he couldn't be Corinthian
if he tried.
MISS FOSTER. I am afraid that even at your age George Austin
held a very different position from the distinguished Anthony
Musgrave.
ANTHONY. Come, ma'am, I take that unkindly. Of course I know
what you're at: of course the old put cut no end of a dash with
the Duchess.
MISS FOSTER. My dear child, I was thinking of no such thing;
THAT was immoral.
ANTHONY. Then you mean that affair at Brighton: when he cut the
Prince about Perdita Robinson.
MISS FOSTER. No, I had forgotten it.
ANTHONY. O, well, I know - that duel! But look here, Aunt
Evelina, I don't think you'd be much gratified after all if I
were to be broke for killing my commanding officer about a
quarrel at cards.
DOROTHY. Nobody asks you, Anthony, to imitate Mr. Austin. I
trust you will set yourself a better model. But you may choose a
worse. With all his faults, and all his enemies, Mr. Austin is a
pattern gentleman: You would not ask a man to be braver, and
there are few so generous. I cannot bear to hear him called in
fault by one so young. Better judges, dear, are better pleased.
ANTHONY. Hey-day! what's this?
MISS FOSTER. Why, Dolly, this is April and May. You surprise
me.
DOROTHY. I am afraid, indeed, madam, that you have much to
suffer from my caprice. (SHE GOES OUT, L.)
SCENE II
ANTHONY, MISS FOSTER
ANTHONY. What is the meaning of all this, ma'am? I don't like
it.
MISS FOSTER. Nothing, child, that I know. You spoke of Mr.
Austin, our dear friend, like a groom; and she, like any lady of
taste, took arms in his defence.
ANTHONY. No, ma'am, that won't do. I know the sex. You mark my
words, the girl has some confounded nonsense in her head, and
wants looking after.
MISS FOSTER. In my presence, Anthony, I shall ask you to speak
of Dorothy with greater respect. With your permission, your
sister and I will continue to direct our own affairs. When we
require the interference of so young and confident a champion,
you shall know. (CURTSIES, KISSES HER HAND, AND GOES OUT, L.)
SCENE III
ANTHONY
ANTHONY. Upon my word, I think Aunt Evelina one of the most
uncivil old women in the world. Nine weeks ago I came of age;
and they still treat me like a boy. I'm a recognised Corinthian,
too: take my liquor with old Fred, and go round with the
Brummagem Bantam and Jack Bosb- . . . O damn Jack Bosbury. If
his father was a tailor, he shall fight me for his ungentlemanly
conduct. However, that's all one. What I want is to make Aunt
Evelina understand that I'm not the man to be put down by an old
maid who's been brought up in a work-basket, begad! I've had
nothing but rebuffs all day. It's very remarkable. There was
that man Austin, to begin with. I'll be hanged if I can stand
him. I hear too much of him; and if I can only get a good excuse
to put him to the door, I believe it would give Dorothy and all
of us a kind of a position. After all, he's not a man to visit
in the house of ladies: not when I'm away, at least. Nothing in
it of course; but is he a man whose visits I can sanction?
SCENE IV
ANTHONY, BARBARA
BARBARA. Please, Mr. Anthony, Miss Foster said I was to show
your room.
ANTHONY. Ha! Baby? Now, you come here. You're a girl of
sense, I know.
BARBARA. La, Mr. Anthony, I hope I'm nothing of the kind.
ANTHONY. Come, come! that's not the tone I want: I'm serious.
Does this man Austin come much about the house?
BARBARA. O Mr. Anthony, for shame! Why don't you ask Miss
Foster?
ANTHONY. Now I wish you to understand: I'm the head of this
family. It's my business to look after my sister's
MISS FOSTER. I am not surprised that it maintains its old
reputation. You know, my dear (TO DOROTHY), it was George
Austin's regiment.
DOROTHY. Was it, aunt?
ANTHONY. Beau Austin? Yes, it was; and a precious dust they
make about him still - a parcel of old frumps! That's why I went
to see him. But he's quite extinct: he couldn't be Corinthian
if he tried.
MISS FOSTER. I am afraid that even at your age George Austin
held a very different position from the distinguished Anthony
Musgrave.
ANTHONY. Come, ma'am, I take that unkindly. Of course I know
what you're at: of course the old put cut no end of a dash with
the Duchess.
MISS FOSTER. My dear child, I was thinking of no such thing;
THAT was immoral.
ANTHONY. Then you mean that affair at Brighton: when he cut the
Prince about Perdita Robinson.
MISS FOSTER. No, I had forgotten it.
ANTHONY. O, well, I know - that duel! But look here, Aunt
Evelina, I don't think you'd be much gratified after all if I
were to be broke for killing my commanding officer about a
quarrel at cards.
DOROTHY. Nobody asks you, Anthony, to imitate Mr. Austin. I
trust you will set yourself a better model. But you may choose a
worse. With all his faults, and all his enemies, Mr. Austin is a
pattern gentleman: You would not ask a man to be braver, and
there are few so generous. I cannot bear to hear him called in
fault by one so young. Better judges, dear, are better pleased.
ANTHONY. Hey-day! what's this?
MISS FOSTER. Why, Dolly, this is April and May. You surprise
me.
DOROTHY. I am afraid, indeed, madam, that you have much to
suffer from my caprice. (SHE GOES OUT, L.)
SCENE II
ANTHONY, MISS FOSTER
ANTHONY. What is the meaning of all this, ma'am? I don't like
it.
MISS FOSTER. Nothing, child, that I know. You spoke of Mr.
Austin, our dear friend, like a groom; and she, like any lady of
taste, took arms in his defence.
ANTHONY. No, ma'am, that won't do. I know the sex. You mark my
words, the girl has some confounded nonsense in her head, and
wants looking after.
MISS FOSTER. In my presence, Anthony, I shall ask you to speak
of Dorothy with greater respect. With your permission, your
sister and I will continue to direct our own affairs. When we
require the interference of so young and confident a champion,
you shall know. (CURTSIES, KISSES HER HAND, AND GOES OUT, L.)
SCENE III
ANTHONY
ANTHONY. Upon my word, I think Aunt Evelina one of the most
uncivil old women in the world. Nine weeks ago I came of age;
and they still treat me like a boy. I'm a recognised Corinthian,
too: take my liquor with old Fred, and go round with the
Brummagem Bantam and Jack Bosb- . . . O damn Jack Bosbury. If
his father was a tailor, he shall fight me for his ungentlemanly
conduct. However, that's all one. What I want is to make Aunt
Evelina understand that I'm not the man to be put down by an old
maid who's been brought up in a work-basket, begad! I've had
nothing but rebuffs all day. It's very remarkable. There was
that man Austin, to begin with. I'll be hanged if I can stand
him. I hear too much of him; and if I can only get a good excuse
to put him to the door, I believe it would give Dorothy and all
of us a kind of a position. After all, he's not a man to visit
in the house of ladies: not when I'm away, at least. Nothing in
it of course; but is he a man whose visits I can sanction?
SCENE IV
ANTHONY, BARBARA
BARBARA. Please, Mr. Anthony, Miss Foster said I was to show
your room.
ANTHONY. Ha! Baby? Now, you come here. You're a girl of
sense, I know.
BARBARA. La, Mr. Anthony, I hope I'm nothing of the kind.
ANTHONY. Come, come! that's not the tone I want: I'm serious.
Does this man Austin come much about the house?
BARBARA. O Mr. Anthony, for shame! Why don't you ask Miss
Foster?
ANTHONY. Now I wish you to understand: I'm the head of this
family. It's my business to look after my sister's