plays [82]
MACAIRE. One has a heart . . . and yet, Dumont, it can hardly
have escaped your penetration that if I were to shift from this
hostelry without a farthing, and leave my offspring to wallow -
literally - among millions, I should play the part of little
better than an ass.
DUMONT. But I had thought . . . I had fancied . . . .
MACAIRE. No, Dumont, you had not; do not seek to impose upon my
simplicity. What you did think was this, Dumont: for the sake
of this noble father, for the sake of this son whom he denies for
his own interest - I mean, for his interest - no, I mean, for
his own - well, anyway, in order to keep up the general
atmosphere of sacrifice and nobility, I must hand over this dowry
to the Baron Henri-Frederic de Latour de Main de la Tonnerre de
Brest.
DUMONT. Noble, O noble! } TOGETHER: EACH SHAKING
BERTRAND. Beautiful, O beautiful! } HIM BY THE HAND.
DUMONT. Now Charles is rich he needs it not. For whom could it
more fittingly be set aside than for his noble father? I will
give it you at once.
BERTRAND. At once, at once!
MACAIRE (ASIDE TO BERTRAND). Hang on. (ALOUD.) Charles,
Charles, my lost boy! (HE FALLS WEEPING AT L. TABLE. DUMONT
ENTERS THE OFFICE, AND BRINGS DOWN CASH-BOX TO TABLE R. HE FEELS
IN ALL HIS POCKETS: BERTRAND FROM BEHIND HIM MAKING SIGNS TO
MACAIRE, WHICH THE LATTER DOES NOT SEE.)
DUMONT. That's strange. I can't find the key. It's a patent
key.
BERTRAND (BEHIND DUMONT, MAKING SIGNS TO MACAIRE). The key, he
can't find the key.
MACAIRE. O yes, I remember. I heard it drop. (DROPS KEY.) And
here it is before my eyes.
DUMONT. That? That's yours. I saw it drop.
MACAIRE. I give you my word of honour I heard it fall five
minutes back.
DUMONT. But I saw it.
MACAIRE. Impossible. It must be yours.
DUMONT. It is like mine, indeed. How came it in your pocket?
MACAIRE. Bitten. (ASIDE.)
BERTRAND. Sold again (ASIDE) . . . . You forget, Baron, it's the
key of my valise; I gave it you to keep in consequence of the
hole in my pocket.
MACAIRE. True, true; and that explains.
DUMONT. O, that explains. Now, all we have to do is to find
mine. It's a patent key. You heard it drop.
MACAIRE. Distinctly.
BERTRAND. So I did: distinctly.
DUMONT. Here, Aline, Babette, Goriot, Curate, Charles,
everybody, come here and look for my key!
SCENE VI
To these with candles, all the former characters, except
FIDDLERS, PEASANTS, and NOTARY. They hunt for the key.
DUMONT. It's bound to be here. We all heard it drop.
MARQUIS (WITH BERTRAND's BUNDLE). Is this it?
ALL (WITH FURY). No.
BERTRAND. Hands off, that's my luggage. (HUNT RESUMED.)
DUMONT. I heard it drop, as plain as ever I heard anything.
MARQUIS. By the way (ALL START UP), what are we looking for?
ALL (WITH FURY). O!!
DUMONT. Will you have the kindness to find my key? (HUNT
RESUMED.)
CURATE. What description of a key -
DUMONT. A patent, patent, patent, patent key!
MACAIRE. I have it. Here it is!
ALL (WITH RELIEF). Ah!!
DUMONT. That? What do you mean? That's yours.
MACAIRE. Pardon me.
DUMONT. It is.
MACAIRE. It isn't.
DUMONT. I tell you it is: look at that twisted handle.
MACAIRE. It can't be mine, and so it must be yours.
DUMONT. It is not. Feel in your pockets. (TO THE OTHERS.)
Will you have the kindness to find my patent key?
ALL. Oh!! (HUNT RESUMED.)
MACAIRE. Ah, well, you're right. (HE SLIPS KEY INTO DUMONT'S
POCKET.) An idea: suppose you felt in your pocket?
ALL (RISING). Yes! Suppose you did!
DUMONT. I will not feel in my pockets. How could it be there?
It's a patent key. This is more than any man can bear. First,
Charles is one man's son, and then he's another's, and then he's
nobody's, and be damned to him! And then there's my key lost;
and then there's your key! What is your key? Where is your key?
Where isn't it? And why is it like mine, only mine's a patent?
The long