plays [85]
Let me try. (HE TRIES, AND FLINGS DOWN THE KEY WITH A
CURSE.) Bitten.
BERTRAND. Sold again.
DUMONT (PICKING UP KEY). It's a patent key.
MACAIRE (TO BERTRAND). The game's up: we must save the swag.
(TO DUMONT.) Sir, since your key, on which I invoke the blight
of Egypt, has once more defaulted, my feelings are unequal to a
repetition of yesterday's distress, and I shall simply pad the
hoof. From Turin you shall receive the address of my banker, and
may prosperity attend your ventures. (TO BERTRAND.) Now, boy!
(TO DUMONT.) Embrace my fatherless child! farewell! (MACAIRE
AND BERTRAND TURN TO GO OFF AND ARE MET IN THE DOOR BY THE
GENDARMES.)
SCENE III
To these, the BRIGADIER and GENDARMES
BRIGADIER. Let no man leave the house.
MACAIRE. Bitten. } ASIDE.
BERTRAND. Sold again. }
DUMONT. Welcome, old friend!
BRIGADIER. It is not the friend that comes; it is the Brigadier.
Summon your guests: I must investigate their passports. I am in
pursuit of a notorious malefactor, Robert Macaire.
DUMONT. But I was led to believe that both Macaire and his
accomplice had been arrested and condemned.
BRIGADIER. They were, but they have once more escaped for the
moment, and justice is indefatigable. (HE SITS AT TABLE R.)
Dumont, a bottle of white wine.
MACAIRE (TO DUMONT). My excellent friend, I will discharge your
commission, and return with all speed. (GOING.)
BRIGADIER. Halt!
MACAIRE (RETURNING: AS IF HE SAW BRIGADIER FOR THE FIRST TIME).
Ha? a member of the force? Charmed, I'm sure. But you
misconceive me: I return at once, and my friend remains behind
to answer for me.
BRIGADIER. Justice is insensible to friendship. I shall deal
with you in due time. Dumont, that bottle.
MACAIRE. Sir, my friend and I, who are students of character,
would grasp the opportunity to share and - may one add? - to pay
the bottle. Dumont, three!
BERTRAND. For God's sake! (ENTER ALINE AND MAIDS.)
MACAIRE. My friend is an author: so, in a humbler way, am I.
Your knowledge of the criminal classes naturally tempts one to
pursue so interesting an acquaintance.
BRIGADIER. Justice is impartial. Gentlemen, your health.
MACAIRE. Will not these brave fellows join us?
BRIGADIER. They are on duty; but what matters?
MACAIRE. My dear sir, what is duty? duty is my eye.
BRIGADIER (SOLEMNLY). And Betty Martin. (GENDARMES SIT AT
TABLE.)
MACAIRE (TO BERTRAND). Dear friend, sit down.
BERTRAND (SITTING DOWN). O Lord!
BRIGADIER (TO MACAIRE). You seem to be a gentleman of
considerable intelligence.
MACAIRE. I fear, sir, you flatter. One has lived, one has
loved, and one remembers: that is all. One's LIVES OF
CELEBRATED CRIMINALS has met with a certain success, and one is
ever in quest of fresh material.
DUMONT. By the way, a singular thing about my patent key.
BRIGADIER. This gentleman is speaking.
MACAIRE. Excellent Dumont! he means no harm. This Macaire is
not personally known to you?
BRIGADIER. Are you connected with justice?
MACAIRE. Ah, sir, justice is a point above a poor author.
BRIGADIER (WITH GLASS). Justice is the very devil.
MACAIRE. My dear sir, my friend and I, I regret to say, have an
appointment in Lyons, or I could spend my life in this society.
Charge your glasses: one hour to madness and to joy! What is
to-morrow? the enemy of to-day. Wine? the bath of life. One
moment: I find I have forgotten my watch. (HE MAKES FOR THE
DOOR.)
BRIGADIER. Halt!
MACAIRE. Sir, what is this jest?
BRIGADIER. Sentry at the door. Your passports.
MACAIRE. My good man, with all the pleasure in life. (Gives
papers. THE BRIGADIER PUTS ON SPECTACLES, AND EXAMINES THEM.)
BERTRAND (RISING, AND PASSING ROUND TO MACAIRE'S OTHER SIDE).
It's life and death: they must soon find it.
MACAIRE (ASIDE). Don't I know? My heart's like fire in my body.
BRIGADIER. Your name is?
MACAIRE. It is; one's name is not unknown.
BRIGADIER. Justice
CURSE.) Bitten.
BERTRAND. Sold again.
DUMONT (PICKING UP KEY). It's a patent key.
MACAIRE (TO BERTRAND). The game's up: we must save the swag.
(TO DUMONT.) Sir, since your key, on which I invoke the blight
of Egypt, has once more defaulted, my feelings are unequal to a
repetition of yesterday's distress, and I shall simply pad the
hoof. From Turin you shall receive the address of my banker, and
may prosperity attend your ventures. (TO BERTRAND.) Now, boy!
(TO DUMONT.) Embrace my fatherless child! farewell! (MACAIRE
AND BERTRAND TURN TO GO OFF AND ARE MET IN THE DOOR BY THE
GENDARMES.)
SCENE III
To these, the BRIGADIER and GENDARMES
BRIGADIER. Let no man leave the house.
MACAIRE. Bitten. } ASIDE.
BERTRAND. Sold again. }
DUMONT. Welcome, old friend!
BRIGADIER. It is not the friend that comes; it is the Brigadier.
Summon your guests: I must investigate their passports. I am in
pursuit of a notorious malefactor, Robert Macaire.
DUMONT. But I was led to believe that both Macaire and his
accomplice had been arrested and condemned.
BRIGADIER. They were, but they have once more escaped for the
moment, and justice is indefatigable. (HE SITS AT TABLE R.)
Dumont, a bottle of white wine.
MACAIRE (TO DUMONT). My excellent friend, I will discharge your
commission, and return with all speed. (GOING.)
BRIGADIER. Halt!
MACAIRE (RETURNING: AS IF HE SAW BRIGADIER FOR THE FIRST TIME).
Ha? a member of the force? Charmed, I'm sure. But you
misconceive me: I return at once, and my friend remains behind
to answer for me.
BRIGADIER. Justice is insensible to friendship. I shall deal
with you in due time. Dumont, that bottle.
MACAIRE. Sir, my friend and I, who are students of character,
would grasp the opportunity to share and - may one add? - to pay
the bottle. Dumont, three!
BERTRAND. For God's sake! (ENTER ALINE AND MAIDS.)
MACAIRE. My friend is an author: so, in a humbler way, am I.
Your knowledge of the criminal classes naturally tempts one to
pursue so interesting an acquaintance.
BRIGADIER. Justice is impartial. Gentlemen, your health.
MACAIRE. Will not these brave fellows join us?
BRIGADIER. They are on duty; but what matters?
MACAIRE. My dear sir, what is duty? duty is my eye.
BRIGADIER (SOLEMNLY). And Betty Martin. (GENDARMES SIT AT
TABLE.)
MACAIRE (TO BERTRAND). Dear friend, sit down.
BERTRAND (SITTING DOWN). O Lord!
BRIGADIER (TO MACAIRE). You seem to be a gentleman of
considerable intelligence.
MACAIRE. I fear, sir, you flatter. One has lived, one has
loved, and one remembers: that is all. One's LIVES OF
CELEBRATED CRIMINALS has met with a certain success, and one is
ever in quest of fresh material.
DUMONT. By the way, a singular thing about my patent key.
BRIGADIER. This gentleman is speaking.
MACAIRE. Excellent Dumont! he means no harm. This Macaire is
not personally known to you?
BRIGADIER. Are you connected with justice?
MACAIRE. Ah, sir, justice is a point above a poor author.
BRIGADIER (WITH GLASS). Justice is the very devil.
MACAIRE. My dear sir, my friend and I, I regret to say, have an
appointment in Lyons, or I could spend my life in this society.
Charge your glasses: one hour to madness and to joy! What is
to-morrow? the enemy of to-day. Wine? the bath of life. One
moment: I find I have forgotten my watch. (HE MAKES FOR THE
DOOR.)
BRIGADIER. Halt!
MACAIRE. Sir, what is this jest?
BRIGADIER. Sentry at the door. Your passports.
MACAIRE. My good man, with all the pleasure in life. (Gives
papers. THE BRIGADIER PUTS ON SPECTACLES, AND EXAMINES THEM.)
BERTRAND (RISING, AND PASSING ROUND TO MACAIRE'S OTHER SIDE).
It's life and death: they must soon find it.
MACAIRE (ASIDE). Don't I know? My heart's like fire in my body.
BRIGADIER. Your name is?
MACAIRE. It is; one's name is not unknown.
BRIGADIER. Justice