Plutus [14]
then, it is I who choose to be prosecutor; and thus all
public affairs fall within my province.
JUST MAN
I pity Athens for being in such vile clutches. But would you not
prefer to live quietly and free from all care and anxiety?
INFORMER
To do nothing is to live an animal's life.
JUST MAN
Thus you will not change your mode of life?
INFORMER
No, though they gave me Plutus himself and the silphium of Battus.
CARIO (to the INFORMER)
Come, quick, off with your cloak.
(The INFORMER does not move.)
JUST MAN
Hi! friend! it's you they are speaking to.
CARIO
Off with your shoes.
(The INFORMER still remains motionless.)
JUST MAN
I say, all this is addressed to you.
INFORMER (defiantly)
Very well! let one of you come near me, if he dares.
CARIO
I dare.
(He strips the INFORMER of his cloak and shoes.
The witness runs away.)
INFORMER
Alas! I am robbed of my clothes in full daylight.
CARIO
That's what comes of meddling with other folk's business and
living at their expense.
INFORMER (over his shoulder to the departing witness)
You see what is happening; I call you to witness.
CARIO (laughing)
Look how the witness whom you brought is taking to his heels.
INFORMER
Great gods! I am all alone and they assault me.
CARIO
Shout away!
INFORMER
Oh! woe, woe is me!
CARIO
Give me that old ragged cloak, that I may dress out the informer.
JUST MAN
No, no; I have dedicated it to Plutus.
CARIO
And where would your offering be better bestowed than on the
shoulders of a rascal and a thief? To Plutus fine, rich cloaks
should be given.
JUST MAN
And what then shall be done with these shoes? Tell me.
CARIO
I will nail them to his brow as gifts are nailed to the trunks
of the wild olive.
INFORMER
I'm off, for you are the strongest, I own. But if I find someone
to join me, let him be as weak as he will, I will summon this god, who
thinks himself so strong, before the court this very day, and denounce
him as manifestly guilty of overturning the democracy by his will
alone and without the consent of the Senate or the Assembly.
JUST MAN
Now that you are rigged out from head to foot with my old clothes,
hasten to the bath and stand there in the front row to warm yourself
better; that's the place I formerly had.
CARIO
Ah! the bath-man would grab you by the balls and fling you through
the door; he would only need to see you to appraise you at your true
value.... But let us go in, friend, that you may address your
thanksgivings to the god.
(Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS.)
(An OLD WOMAN enters,
dressed as a young girl and trying to walk
in a youthful and alluring manner. She carries a plate of food.)
OLD WOMAN (coyly)
My dear old men, am I near the house where the new god lives, or
have I missed the road?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
You are at his door, my pretty little maid, who question us so
sweetly.
OLD WOMAN
Then I will summon someone in the house.
CHREMYLUS
No need. I am here myself. But what brings you here?
OLD WOMAN
Ah! a cruel, unjust fate! My dear friend, this god has made life
unbearable to me through ceasing to be blind.
CHREMYLUS
What does this mean? Can you be a female informer?
OLD WOMAN
Most certainly not.
CHREMYLUS
Have you drunk up your money then?
OLD WOMAN
You are mocking me! No! I am being devoured with a consuming fire.
CHREMYLUS
Then tell me what is consuming you so fiercely.
OLD WOMAN
Listen! I loved a young man, who was poor, but so handsome,
public affairs fall within my province.
JUST MAN
I pity Athens for being in such vile clutches. But would you not
prefer to live quietly and free from all care and anxiety?
INFORMER
To do nothing is to live an animal's life.
JUST MAN
Thus you will not change your mode of life?
INFORMER
No, though they gave me Plutus himself and the silphium of Battus.
CARIO (to the INFORMER)
Come, quick, off with your cloak.
(The INFORMER does not move.)
JUST MAN
Hi! friend! it's you they are speaking to.
CARIO
Off with your shoes.
(The INFORMER still remains motionless.)
JUST MAN
I say, all this is addressed to you.
INFORMER (defiantly)
Very well! let one of you come near me, if he dares.
CARIO
I dare.
(He strips the INFORMER of his cloak and shoes.
The witness runs away.)
INFORMER
Alas! I am robbed of my clothes in full daylight.
CARIO
That's what comes of meddling with other folk's business and
living at their expense.
INFORMER (over his shoulder to the departing witness)
You see what is happening; I call you to witness.
CARIO (laughing)
Look how the witness whom you brought is taking to his heels.
INFORMER
Great gods! I am all alone and they assault me.
CARIO
Shout away!
INFORMER
Oh! woe, woe is me!
CARIO
Give me that old ragged cloak, that I may dress out the informer.
JUST MAN
No, no; I have dedicated it to Plutus.
CARIO
And where would your offering be better bestowed than on the
shoulders of a rascal and a thief? To Plutus fine, rich cloaks
should be given.
JUST MAN
And what then shall be done with these shoes? Tell me.
CARIO
I will nail them to his brow as gifts are nailed to the trunks
of the wild olive.
INFORMER
I'm off, for you are the strongest, I own. But if I find someone
to join me, let him be as weak as he will, I will summon this god, who
thinks himself so strong, before the court this very day, and denounce
him as manifestly guilty of overturning the democracy by his will
alone and without the consent of the Senate or the Assembly.
JUST MAN
Now that you are rigged out from head to foot with my old clothes,
hasten to the bath and stand there in the front row to warm yourself
better; that's the place I formerly had.
CARIO
Ah! the bath-man would grab you by the balls and fling you through
the door; he would only need to see you to appraise you at your true
value.... But let us go in, friend, that you may address your
thanksgivings to the god.
(Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS.)
(An OLD WOMAN enters,
dressed as a young girl and trying to walk
in a youthful and alluring manner. She carries a plate of food.)
OLD WOMAN (coyly)
My dear old men, am I near the house where the new god lives, or
have I missed the road?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
You are at his door, my pretty little maid, who question us so
sweetly.
OLD WOMAN
Then I will summon someone in the house.
CHREMYLUS
No need. I am here myself. But what brings you here?
OLD WOMAN
Ah! a cruel, unjust fate! My dear friend, this god has made life
unbearable to me through ceasing to be blind.
CHREMYLUS
What does this mean? Can you be a female informer?
OLD WOMAN
Most certainly not.
CHREMYLUS
Have you drunk up your money then?
OLD WOMAN
You are mocking me! No! I am being devoured with a consuming fire.
CHREMYLUS
Then tell me what is consuming you so fiercely.
OLD WOMAN
Listen! I loved a young man, who was poor, but so handsome,