Plutus [4]
(to the CHORUS, which has followed him in)
Come, you active workers, who, like my master, eat nothing but
garlic and the poorest food, you who are his friends and his
neighbours, hasten your steps, hurry yourselves; there's not a
moment to lose; this is the critical hour, when your presence and your
support are needed by him.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Why, don't you see we are speeding as fast as men can, who are
already enfeebled by age? But do you deem it fitting to make us run
like this before ever telling us why your master has called us?
CARIO
I've grown hoarse with the telling, but you won't listen. My
master is going to drag you all out of the stupid, sapless life you
are leading and ensure you, one full of all delights.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
And how is he going to manage that?
CARIO
My poor friends, he has brought with him a disgusting old
fellow, all bent and wrinkled, with a most pitiful appearance, bald
and toothless; upon my word, I even believe he is circumcised like
some vile barbarian.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
This news is worth its weight in gold! What are you saying? Repeat
it to me; no doubt it means he is bringing back a heap of wealth.
CARIO
No, but a heap of all the infirmities attendant on old age.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
If you are tricking us, you shall pay us for it. Beware of our
sticks!
CARIO
Do you deem me so brazen as all that, and my words mere lies?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What serious airs the rascal puts on! Look! his legs are already
shrieking, "oh! oh!" They are asking for the shackles and wedges.
CARIO
It's in the tomb that it's your lot to judge. Why don't you go
there? Charon has given you your ticket.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Plague take you! you cursed rascal, who rail at us and have not
even the heart to tell us why your master has made us come. We were
pressed for time and tired out, yet we came with all haste, and in our
hurry we have passed by lots of wild onions without even gathering
them.
CARIO
I will no longer conceal the truth from you. Friends, it's
Plutus whom my master brings, Plutus, who will give you riches.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What! we shall really all become rich?
CARIO
Aye, certainly; you will then be Midases, provided you grow
ass's ears.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What joy, what happiness! If what you tell me is true, I long to
dance with delight.
CARIO (singing, with appropriate gestures)
And I too, threttanelo! want to imitate the Cyclops and lead
your troop by stamping like this. Do you, my dear little ones, cry,
aye, cry again and bleat forth the plaintive song of the sheep and
of the stinking goats; follow me like lascivious goats with their
tools out.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
(Singing, to the same tune and with similar mimicry)
As for us, threttanelo! we will seek you, dear Cyclops,
bleating, and if we find you with your wallet full of fresh herbs, all
disgusting in your filth, sodden with wine and sleeping in the midst
of your sheep, we will seize a great flaming stake and burn out your
eye.
CARIO
I will copy that Circe of Corinth, whose potent philtres compelled
the companions of Philonides like swine to swallow balls of dung,
which she herself had kneaded with her hands; and do you too grunt
with joy and follow your mother, my little pigs.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! Circe with the potent philtress, who besmear your companions
so filthily, what pleasure I shall have in imitating the son of
Laertes! I will hang you up by your balls, I will rub your nose with
dung like a goat, and like Aristyllus you shall say through your
half-opened lips, "Follow your mother, my little pigs."
CARIO
Enough of tomfoolery, assume a grave demeanour; unknown to my
master I am going to take bread and meat; and when I have fed well,
Come, you active workers, who, like my master, eat nothing but
garlic and the poorest food, you who are his friends and his
neighbours, hasten your steps, hurry yourselves; there's not a
moment to lose; this is the critical hour, when your presence and your
support are needed by him.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Why, don't you see we are speeding as fast as men can, who are
already enfeebled by age? But do you deem it fitting to make us run
like this before ever telling us why your master has called us?
CARIO
I've grown hoarse with the telling, but you won't listen. My
master is going to drag you all out of the stupid, sapless life you
are leading and ensure you, one full of all delights.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
And how is he going to manage that?
CARIO
My poor friends, he has brought with him a disgusting old
fellow, all bent and wrinkled, with a most pitiful appearance, bald
and toothless; upon my word, I even believe he is circumcised like
some vile barbarian.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
This news is worth its weight in gold! What are you saying? Repeat
it to me; no doubt it means he is bringing back a heap of wealth.
CARIO
No, but a heap of all the infirmities attendant on old age.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
If you are tricking us, you shall pay us for it. Beware of our
sticks!
CARIO
Do you deem me so brazen as all that, and my words mere lies?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What serious airs the rascal puts on! Look! his legs are already
shrieking, "oh! oh!" They are asking for the shackles and wedges.
CARIO
It's in the tomb that it's your lot to judge. Why don't you go
there? Charon has given you your ticket.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Plague take you! you cursed rascal, who rail at us and have not
even the heart to tell us why your master has made us come. We were
pressed for time and tired out, yet we came with all haste, and in our
hurry we have passed by lots of wild onions without even gathering
them.
CARIO
I will no longer conceal the truth from you. Friends, it's
Plutus whom my master brings, Plutus, who will give you riches.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What! we shall really all become rich?
CARIO
Aye, certainly; you will then be Midases, provided you grow
ass's ears.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What joy, what happiness! If what you tell me is true, I long to
dance with delight.
CARIO (singing, with appropriate gestures)
And I too, threttanelo! want to imitate the Cyclops and lead
your troop by stamping like this. Do you, my dear little ones, cry,
aye, cry again and bleat forth the plaintive song of the sheep and
of the stinking goats; follow me like lascivious goats with their
tools out.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
(Singing, to the same tune and with similar mimicry)
As for us, threttanelo! we will seek you, dear Cyclops,
bleating, and if we find you with your wallet full of fresh herbs, all
disgusting in your filth, sodden with wine and sleeping in the midst
of your sheep, we will seize a great flaming stake and burn out your
eye.
CARIO
I will copy that Circe of Corinth, whose potent philtres compelled
the companions of Philonides like swine to swallow balls of dung,
which she herself had kneaded with her hands; and do you too grunt
with joy and follow your mother, my little pigs.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! Circe with the potent philtress, who besmear your companions
so filthily, what pleasure I shall have in imitating the son of
Laertes! I will hang you up by your balls, I will rub your nose with
dung like a goat, and like Aristyllus you shall say through your
half-opened lips, "Follow your mother, my little pigs."
CARIO
Enough of tomfoolery, assume a grave demeanour; unknown to my
master I am going to take bread and meat; and when I have fed well,