Power Play - Anne McCaffrey [53]
“The only planet in the galaxy to require an entrance exam from inhabitants,” Marmion said, giggling as much at the expression of total disbelief on Namid’s long face as her choice of expression.
Diego began to groan and twist on the narrow bunk, and Bunny instantly was all attention.
13
Kilcoole
Sean found that he literally couldn’t stand to live in his own skin, he was so distraught about the kidnapping. “Una, I have to get out,” he said. “If there’s any news, any change at all, send Marduk for me. He’ll be able to find me. I’m going to the river.”
“Send Mar—Sean! What if there’s another ransom . . .” Her voice trailed behind him.
He knew she was right. He should stick around the office in case there were new developments; in case Yana or Marmion’s people made contact again. But the last week or two had been just the sort of thing that wore him down until this final shock made his head reel. He was used to working outdoors, working with animals, swimming the long watery corridors of the planet and drawing strength and calm from the water. All these papers and offworld people . . . trying to figure out what was fair, what was right, where they fit in, where to be liberal and responsive to their needs and where to draw the line. He had every confidence in himself that he was a good man. He just wasn’t that particular kind of a good man. And now, with the possibility that Yana might not return, that what he did or said, or what he could or could not do, would mean life or death to her, to Bunny and Diego, to Marmion, who had been so kind, to the future he and Yana had looked forward to—he had to get away, had to think, had to let the water flow over him. He felt as if his alter-form was a whale or a dolphin rather than a seal; that, like them, he would itch himself right out of his skin if he didn’t get it wet and changed soon.
He barely managed to reach the cover of the woods before shucking off his clothing and diving into the river waters. The rippling, bubbling, soothing, slithery soaking poured over his head as he changed utterly, man into seal, twenty feet down in the deeps of the river.
Usually he made his changes at the hot spring or farther from home, because his transformation had been a secret from all but his closest friends and family in the past. But a few times he had needed to swim this river and had done so. Eventually, like all rivers, it dumped into the sea. And like most Petaybean rivers, it received transfusions from various hot springs along its route, making it warm. He swam furiously out toward the sea, and then furiously back again, because he didn’t want to be too far in case Yana needed him. But the mere sight of land made him feel wild with grief and anxiety and he dove, deeper and deeper.
The reasonable man in him told his seal self to be careful, not to go too far, not to become injured or trapped, because then he wouldn’t be able to help Yana if needed, but his seal self swam recklessly and restlessly—and began noticing things about the riverbanks and riverbed it hadn’t noticed before.
Petaybee’s recent seismic activity had changed the channel of the river slightly and had changed the feeder springs: several underwater grottos now opened under the banks, and as Sean dove, he saw that they tunneled deeply under the riverbanks. He swam into one of them, taking its twists and turns until he found he was no longer swimming, but pulling himself out of a wellspring and up onto the floor of another of Petaybee’s subterranean corridors. Once on land again, he resumed his man shape, the river water streaming from his skin.
The swim had not helped as much as he hoped. Now to his other anxieties was added the fact that he longed to stay here, safe from intrusion, safe from having to decide everything for everyone, and yet, he had to leave soon in case he was needed. Even Marduk couldn’t find him here.
But he needed to be here, within the planet, at one with it. It had always been his greatest