Prayers for Bobby - Leroy Aarons [64]
“It was not God’s will that Bobby jumped over the side of a freeway overpass into the path of an eighteen-wheel truck, which killed him instantly. Bobby’s death was the direct result of his parents’ ignorance and fear of the word gay. An injustice has been done not only to Bobby but to his family as well. God knows it isn’t right that Bobby is not here with his loved ones.”
Several in the audience wept as she continued. “Correct education about homosexuality would have prevented this tragedy. There are no words to express the pain and emptiness remaining in our hearts. We miss Bobby’s kind and gentle ways, his fun-loving spirit, his laughter. Bobby’s hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him, but they were. We can’t have Bobby back.
“There are children like Bobby sitting in your congregations. Unknown to you, they will be listening to your ‘Amen’s as they silently cry out to God in their hearts. Their cries will go unnoticed for they cannot be heard above your ‘Amen’s. Your fear and ignorance of the word gay will soon silence their cries. Before you echo ‘Amen’ in your home and place of worship, think and remember. A child is listening.”
There was a moment of silence, then a burst of wild applause. The opposition, which had booed other speakers, was silent. Mary stepped from the podium and walked steadily to the rear of the chamber. Inside, she was shaking. This public moment had been her own coming out.
The city council, after listening to dozens of speakers, took refuge in a decision that ultimately pleased no one. It dropped the word gay from the Human Relations Commission’s statement in favor of a reference to “civil rights for all individuals.” The action only temporarily mollified the disputing parties, setting the stage for a bruising battle over gay rights in Concord and the county over the next three years.
But Mary Griffith’s course was set. She had discovered she could move a large body of people. She had seen that her story was a potent morality tale. Her testimony had been reported in the Oakland Tribune. She was now an activist, involved in a cause from which she would never retreat.
TEN
Portland
BOBBY, 1983
Tuesday, February 16. You won’t believe it. I know you won’t because I don’t. I’ve moved to Portland…. At first I was really scared, but now I know I’m going to be all right. The hardest part of all was leaving. Saying good-bye to my family was hard because I love them a lot. My family has really been good to me. They sent me Valentine’s Day cards and soap and towels and underwear and my books and money. I think I’ll be happy here.
It was a fresh start. Literally. Portland in winter had the bracing smell of rain-soaked pine trees and burning firewood. Where Walnut Creek had seemed congested and suburban, Portland had open air and open space and what seemed to Bobby to be friendly people.
I’m glad to be away from that town. Nothing but bad memories. This is my new life, a new day, and I’m going to be a success in every way I can. I’m very excited about being here.
In a way it was like being at summer camp. Everybody sent cards and letters from home, with news and gossip. Care packages, too. Ed’s Valentine card said, “I love you and am thinking of you often! Blessings to the MAX!” and added that he had made second-string third baseman in junior college and was “collecting many a splinter on the bench!”
His mother sent a long letter filled with Bible references, in which she asked whether to give Bobby’s new address and phone number to inquiring “friends.”
“I know you want to turn over a new leaf, so to speak, but Bobby, I don’t know who you want to keep as friends and who you don’t,” she wrote. She told him she was trying not to think about the emptiness left by his departure. “I was trying very hard one day and the Lord broke into my thoughts and said, ‘Let them stay and don’t fight them. You are supposed to feel sad when one you love and have lived with for almost 20 years is not around. A deep void is