Promises to Keep - Ann Tatlock [74]
We ignored her and went on squealing. “I can’t believe it!” I cried.
“I can hardly believe it myself.”
“How’s it going to happen?”
“I’ll take the train to Chicago, and he’ll be there at the station to meet me.”
“Really?”
She nodded happily. “That’s what Mama said. Celia, I mean.”
“And then what?”
“And then we’ll go somewhere for lunch and just talk.”
“What about his family? Will they know about it?”
Mara’s rosy lips formed a taut line. “No. He’ll have to lie to them about where he is.”
“But that’s . . .” I almost told her there were all sorts of lies involved whenever I saw my own daddy, but a glance at Valerie stopped me. Daddy was a secret that had to be kept even from my little sister. I changed tracks and asked, “Are you scared?”
Mara nodded again, slowly this time, her small chin moving up and down. “I’m real scared. What if he doesn’t like me?”
“What if you don’t like him?”
“Oh, I already know I like him. I listen to him twice a week, you know. I already know a lot of things about him, even what his voice sounds like. But he doesn’t know anything about me.”
“He will soon. And he’ll like you, Mara. He really will.”
“Do you think so?”
“Oh yes. I’m sure he will.”
Her eyes drifted toward the window. She looked thoughtful. “Celia said it’s the first time she’s talked to him since I was born. In the beginning they wrote a few letters, but – ” she paused and shrugged – “then they both got married and all.”
“So how did she know how to find him?”
“Well, they’ve always known the day would come when he would meet me, so he’s made sure Celia knows where he is.”
“She must have been scared to call him, after all this time.”
“Yeah.” Another small nod. “She was scared, all right. She had to go to a phone booth to make the call, otherwise the long-distance number would show up on their phone bill. She was scared Raymond – that’s her husband – would find out what she was doing. She was scared my daddy would say no. She was even scared she’d run out of dimes before they finished talking.”
“But your daddy said yes, and she didn’t run out of dimes.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So doesn’t Raymond know about you?”
“Oh yeah, he knows. He knows I was born to Celia before those two got married. What he doesn’t know is who my daddy is. That’s what Celia doesn’t want him to ever know.”
“So you’ve got to keep it secret.”
“That’s right. One more secret I’ve got to remember to keep.”
By now Valerie was stretched out on the floor, dozing with the doll in her arms. The plastic bottle lay on its side on the floor, having fallen from her grip. I gazed at her a moment, then back at Mara.
“So when are you going?”
“Sometime over Christmas vacation.”
“Do your grandparents know?”
“Yeah, they know. They don’t like it, but I’m going anyway.” We were quiet a moment. Then Mara added, “Listen, Roz, I think this all happened because of the Daddy Deal. I really do. You’ve been praying for me to meet my daddy, praying every day, right?”
I nodded, though I felt a pinch of guilt for the days I had forgotten.
“And now it’s coming true. I’m really going to meet him.”
“I’m glad, Mara,” I said, and I was. Glad that she was going to meet her daddy but envious at the same time.
As though she could sense my envy, she said, “So pretty soon maybe your daddy will decide it’s time to come home.”
“Yeah.” I glanced again at Valerie to make sure she wasn’t listening, but she was breathing that slow, rhythmic breath of sleep. “But it’s got to be soon, or Tom Barrows is going to marry Mom first, and then Daddy won’t have a chance.”
“Are they engaged or something? Your mom and Mr. Barrows, I mean?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“So why do you think your mom’s going to marry him?”
“I don’t know. It’s just that he’s always over here, or they’re always going out somewhere, or else they’re on the phone with each other. It’s like Mom actually likes him or something.”
“Maybe she does.”
“I don’t think so. How could she?”
“Then why’s she seeing him?”
“I don’t know, Mara. I wish I did. No, what I really wish is that he’d just go away. I don’t want him to