Protector - Laurel Dewey [100]
“Name one!”
“Well . . . I think . . . No. I know I have a drinking problem.”
“A drinking problem? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I think you do, too.”
Mike’s words hit Jane hard. “Really?” There was a sarcastic turn to her voice.
“You’ve got to admit that you . . . we have downed a lot of alcohol.”
“We’re white, single and over 21!”
“I think we’re alcoholics.”
Jane surveyed her brother carefully. “This is not you talking, Mike. This is someone else. Somebody has gotten to you. What? Have you found God?”
“There’s nothing wrong with God, Janie.”
“I knew it!”
“Janie,” Mike said curtly, “there comes a time when you gotta say that you are no longer in control and that you trust in a higher power. That’s the first step.”
Jane could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Oh, shit. You went to a goddamn AA meeting.”
“Yes. And it made sense—”
“Who in the hell dragged you to a fucking AA meeting?” Mike stared at Jane for a long second and then looked toward his house. “That bitch!”
“Don’t call her that!”
“So that’s the ‘group’ you mentioned. Has she got a bunch of useless AA members selling her jewelry at the art show? Oh, this is rich! Mike, she doesn’t know you! She will never know you! But I do know you and I’ll always be there.”
“Lisa used to be an alcoholic and a drug addict. I told her about dad and how he drank and beat on us growing up—”
“What are you doing telling that bitch stories about our private life?”
“Stop calling her a bitch!”
“Those are personal stories, Mike! You had no right to tell a perfect stranger about what happened to us!”
“She’s not a stranger!” Mike yelled. “You and me, we both have stories to tell! We lived in hell, Janie! Every second of every day was spent in fear of getting the shit kicked out of us. And when you moved out, you made sure you always had a bottle at the ready so you could drown yourself and not feel anything!”
“Stop it!”
“No!” Mike grabbed on to Jane’s arm. “You gotta hear this! Part of you died growing up. Part of both of us died! But we just kept digging holes inside of ourselves and burying it. But there comes a time when you can’t stuff it inside any longer and pretend that it didn’t count—that it didn’t change you forever. That what happened didn’t kill you.” Mike’s tears began to flow as he let go of Jane’s arm. “As much as it hurts, I can’t keep drowning in a bottle. I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. I don’t want to wake up and hate myself every fucking day. I’m thirty years old, Janie. I think it’s time I stopped denying everything! I gotta take charge of my life. I need to find something wonderful in my life. And that’s what I’m doing.”
Jane turned to her brother, a pitiful look crossing her face. “Mike, this is an ugly, dark, awful world. It’s full of people who want to destroy you. Can’t you see that?”
Mike wiped away his tears. “There’s beauty, Janie. There has to be.”
A tear streamed down Jane’s face. “No, Mike. There isn’t.”
Mike reached out to Jane, a profound sadness overwhelming him. “Oh, Janie. I’m so sorry you can only see the darkness. But I can’t live like that anymore. I’m gonna find peace. I’d really like you to be part of it. But if you can’t, then I’m doing it without you.”
Jane stood still, completely unnerved. She’d lost control over the one person she had always been able to mold and dominate. “I have to go,” she said, the strength sucked from her voice.
“Janie,” Mike said, gently taking hold of Jane’s arm. “Remember the other night when I told you about every time I make a wish, how I wish for freedom?”
“Yeah.”
“I finally got my wish, Janie,” Mike said, tears falling down his face. “And it’s more than I ever dreamed about.”
“I’m happy for you,” she replied, not really knowing what to say.
“From now on, I’m wishing it for you.”
Jane looked off into the distance, her heart empty. “Freedom? I have no idea what that means.” She started toward her car.
“You’re going away with that little girl, aren’t you?” Mike