Pure Blood_ A Nocturne City Novel - Caitlin Kittredge [111]
Part of me said to let him go, release him, tell him I wasn’t worth it. The much bigger part was complete again, hungering to have Dmitri back beside me. I hugged him hard, and he squeezed me in return. “I have to get some stuff from the safe house, then I’ll be back, okay? I’ll be staying as long as you’ll have me.”
“This will never work,” I said, but I couldn’t help but smile. “This is going to be so hard.”
“Probably,” said Dmitri. “But I don’t really give a fuck anymore.” He kissed me. “Back soon, babe.”
I knew that there would be repercussions, that the pack elders of the Redbacks would never let an ex-pack leader and an Insoli live in peace for long. But at that moment, I believed Dmitri, so I let go of his hand and told him, “Don’t be long.” And I let myself believe that when he walked out, he’d be back.
It took a month for my arm to heal. Were healing is great for scrapes and cuts but lousy on broken bones. Dr. Northgate didn’t notice—he was amazed I was even alive after my plunge off the Siren Bay Bridge. I didn’t tell him that I felt much the same way.
And I didn’t tell anyone that I no longer felt that gaping presence in my mind, that edge always beckoning to me. Dr. Merriman might think she’d had something to do with my improvement, and I couldn’t let that happen.
My first shift back on the job after Seamus had died and my med leave ended, I went through the motions of writing up the paperwork that had accumulated while I recovered, and waited for the inevitable. Forty-five minutes after I’d sat down at my desk, Matilda Morgan appeared in the squad room door. “Detective Wilder, my office. Now.”
I went in expecting to get fired. I’d flaunted every protocol the department had laid out, I’d gotten my partner taken hostage, and I’d been nothing but a hostile little bitch where Captain Morgan was concerned. At least, I figured, I’d take it with some dignity. Hell, I wouldn’t even scream or break anything.
“Detective,” said Morgan, “I just need to say one thing. You are the worst law-enforcement officer I have ever commanded.”
Well, that was par for the course. Captain Roenberg had thought the same thing.
“I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am,” I murmured, waiting for the speech that ended with Turn in your badge and gun.
“You are also the best detective,” said Morgan. “And by far the most tenacious. By far.”
I blinked at her. I was honestly at a loss for words, and that disconcerted the hell out of me.
“You’ll be pleased to know that Shelby survived her ordeal with aplomb,” said Morgan. “In fact, there’s a former O’Halloran security employee in intensive care right now, thanks to her efforts in freeing herself and the other hostages.”
Good for Shelby. She wasn’t the ice-princess, shrinking-violet cop I’d first met. Maybe I could allow myself to think I was a bad influence.
“Get back to work,” said Morgan, “and please try not to kill anyone for at least a week.”
“Ma’am, I…” I said. I couldn’t think of a single adequate response to Morgan’s words. She was letting me back on the job. I think she might have even complimented me. Gods, if all I had to do to get administrative approval was dive off a bridge, I’d be doing it twice a week.
“Thank you for your attention, Detective. Dismissed.” She waved me out of her office, and I think as I shut the door she may have given me a tiny smile. But then again, I probably imagined that part.
At my desk I stared at my overdue case report, the blinking cursor mirroring my heartbeat. I was a homicide detective again. No one was looking over my shoulder for a reason to get rid of me.
I could do my job.
“You know what this desk needs?” said Shelby, dropping her bag next to my keyboard and sitting on the edge of my desk. “Plants. Big, leafy, smelly flowering plants. Don’t you think that would liven things up?”
I could have hugged Shelby, but I decided that might destroy my reputation as a tough and heartless were, so I just grinned. “Nice to see you not-tied-up.”
“Nice to see you not-dead.” She grinned back.
I stopped smiling when I realized what