• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

“Are you saying that our intrusion caused these rifts to open?”

“Yup, completely dense.” Q rolled his eyes. “Wake up, Jean-Luc—those rifts opened the very microsecond your trained monkey over there”—he pointed at Leybenzon—”went into the cavern.”

Turning to the viewer, Picard asked, “Admiral, is that true?”

Janeway looked nonplussed. “As far as we can tell, the rifts all popped up at about the same time.”

Worf asked, “When?”

“Twenty-three hours ago.”

“Bloody hell,” Kadohata muttered. “Captain, ship’s time is about zero-eight hundred, and it was at zero-nine hundred yesterday that we entered that last cavern.”

“What is it with you people,” Q asked, “that you have to take half an hour to figure out what I already told you?”

Kadohata almost sneered at Q. “Probably something to do with not trusting you.”

“Yes, well, Randy dear, I’m afraid that trust isn’t the issue here—survival is.”

Next to him, Worf saw Leybenzon start to rise. Putting a hand on the security chief’s shoulder, Worf shook his head.

Without even looking at Worf or Leybenzon, Q said, “Oh, you should let him try it, microbrain. I’ve been waiting for an excuse to turn this one into a newt.”

“Q, enough of this,” Janeway said. “Give us a straight answer for once in your misbegotten life.”

Grinning, Q said, “Oh, Kathy, why start now?” He let out a breath. “But seriously, folks, do you really need little ol’ me to spell it out for you?”

“Humor us, Q,” Picard said. Worf noted that the captain’s hands were clasped tightly in front of him.

“Oh, very well, since you’ve apparently all taken your stupid pills this morning. That planet down there is dangerous. Just by setting foot in the wrong spot, you’ve started a universewide catastrophe.”

Noting Q’s choice of words, Worf said, “Universe? These rifts extend beyond this galaxy?”

“Give that Klingon a cigar!” Q snapped his fingers, and a lit cigar appeared in the first officer’s mouth. Worf had first encountered the vile leaves wrapped in paper as a boy on Gault, when Uncle Yuri had given him one, and he had no wish to relive the experience. Yanking the cigar out of his mouth, he stubbed it out on his hand and glared at Q, who, naturally, was still talking: “Your brain is actually becoming less micro by the second—yes, these phenomena are occurring all over the universe, claiming far more than the billions of lives dear Kathy was concerned about. That’s what happened when you stood on the threshold. Going in would be insanely suicidal and stupid, and if I were you, I’d get the hell out of the system—or at least out of orbit. Those two gas giants look like they might be fun to look at. I can assure you that they’re free of anything that might spell certain death for the universe as we know it.”

Standing up, Picard announced the decision he had just made. “That settles it, then. I’m going down there.”

Q’s face fell. “Jean-Luc, you can’t be serious.”

Picard walked over to the other end of the table and shoved his face into Q’s. “If you’re that insistent that we not beam down to the planet, then I feel the best course of action we can take is to beam down posthaste.”

Q said, “Kathy, you outrank him, and you’ve proved yourself to have at least a modicum of sense. Order him not to.”

It was with a profound sense of relief that Worf heard the words, “Captain Picard, you have my full support in your exploration of the surface of Gorsach IX. I only ask that you report your findings with dispatch.”

Picard looked at Janeway and smiled. “Thank you, Admiral.”

“Starfleet out.” Janeway’s image faded from the viewer.

Q disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared between Picard and Worf.

“Jean-Luc, listen to me,” Q said insistently, “the absolute worst thing you can do is go back down there.”

Staring right at Q, Picard tapped his combadge. “Picard to transporter room. Ensign Luptowski, an away team will be beaming down to Gorsach IX presently.”

“Aye, sir.”

Leaning down to whisper in Picard’s ear, Worf could just hear Q’s words: “Don