Quest for the Well of Souls - Jack L. Chalker [129]
"So, like the Markovians, you are forced to face the nonquantifiable, something you can't touch, measure, or define except by example, and your own selfish nature eats you alive so your ego can be shattered. You want to die, as the Markovians finally wanted to die, but without even their noble motives. It is ironic that their very sacrifice was an act of that quality they, too, believed they no longer possessed."
She laughed mirthlessly. "I can't see the profit, the reason. As a beggar, I learned that most charity is really guilt. I deserve to die."
"But you don't," Obie responded. "You could have killed yourself a thousand times, just in the last three days. Is that why you wish to retain that most inconvenient form? Punishment for the guilt you feel? Here! I give you choices, and they are freely given. You wish to be an animal? I shall place you where you want, as you are or as you wish to be. Want to be a queen? Just name the race. Anything you want, any place you want, alive, dead, productive, destructive. What is your wish? I will see that it comes about! Or—join me in exploring the nearly limitless stars, in helping where I can, in learning as well. In meeting the challenges to come. Very soon our human relatives will meet with not one but several other alien cultures. Are they to clash and condemn themselves, or mesh and grow? Do you want to join me in working at such grand projects, or will you allow your guilt and self-pity to place you in a hell most assuredly of the worst kind because it is of your own device? Tell me. Take your time—we have a lot of it, perhaps all there is."
The words of the Gedemondans again floated through her mind.
First you must descend into Hell. Then, only when hope is gone, will you be lifted up and placed at the pinnacle of attainable power, but whether or not you will be wise enough to know what to do with it or what not to do with it is closed to us.
She'd once defined hell as the absence of hope, and Obie had added guilt and self-pity, so hell she had attained indeed.
She shook her head slowly in puzzled wonder, not able to comprehend or control new feelings that were rising inside her. For a long while she was silent. At last she looked around at the wrecked control room, at the air around her.
"Partners?" she asked softly, hesitantly.
"Partners!" Obie shouted joyfully.
Appendix I: Races of the Southern Hemisphere
Only those hexes that have people or geography in this second half of the book are listed. Those from Exiles of the Well of Souls are listed only if they and/or theirs actually also appears in Volume II. Names are as one would hear them. Pronunciation is left up to the reader; if you want a rule, treat it as you would Polish—pronounce every letter and syllable.
H = High-tech hex. All technology works here if you invent it and can develop it.
S = Semitech hex. Steam and internal combustion work, but not electrical, atomic, or more sophisticated systems.
N = Nontech hex. No machine not directly or indirectly powered by muscle works here. Oil and gas still burn and can be used directly for light and heat, but they won't move a piston.
A parenthesis around the tech designation—e.g., (S)—indicates that it is a water hex.
The letter M following a tech designation—e.g., NM—means the hex has what would be regarded as magical capabilities by those who don't have them.
Atmospheric composition and pressure vary widely, but there is no hex listed here in which others could not live without artificial aids.
AGITAR H Diurnal Males satyrlike; females reverse animalism of males but are smarter. Males can store and discharge high electrical voltages without harm. The pegasus is native to Agitar.
ALESTOL N Diurnal Moving, barrel-shaped plants; carnivores that shoot a variety of noxious gasses.
AMBREZA H Diurnal Resemble giant beavers. Used to be N until they beat the Glathriel in a war and forced them to