Quiet Room - Lori Schiller [36]
Upon admission, the patient's appearance seemed very normal. Her dress was appropriate. She seemed a little confused throughout the interview … She reported having hallucinations … She appeared to have no formal thought disorder, flight of ideas or circumstantiality. Cognition was difficult to evaluate because of her confusion … Her memory was poor, especially long-term memory. Her short-term memory was a little better.
RECOMMENDATIONS PROGNOSIS AND TREATMENT
Initially it would be important to clarify the patient's diagnosis. Historically she has been diagnosed as a bipolar disorder, but there are conflicting signs that would indicate a schizophrenic illness …
9/27/82 Nursing Note, 10:30 p.m.
Status: Constant Supervision
Lori is having frequent auditory hallucinations, including voices screaming at her, command hallucinations telling her to go out the window and “fly.” She appears in much distress, often covering her ears. She walks near windows but can be easily encouraged to move away. She looks depressed and voices discouragement and anger over her lack of progress. She refused 9 p.m. medications for this reason, “they don't help take away the voices.” Lori did look cheerful when parents visited.
10/1/82 Nursing Note, 11:45 p.m.
Status: Constant Supervision
While opening front door for another patient Lori tried to run out … Lori was caught before she got outside the door. Staff decided to take patient's shoes away and make her wear hospital pajamas.
10/3/82 Nursing Note, 3– 11 p.m.
Status: Constant Supervision
… patient stated she hears two male voices, can't identify them. These two voices tell her to jump out the window, that she would be able to fly, and also that she should leave the hospital. Patient feels the voices in her head are coming from a “radio inside my head.” Patient also stated she deserves to die because she is no good. Patient feels that dying would end her problem and would make things better for her.
10/15/82 Nursing Note, 3– 11 p.m.
Status: Constant Observation
Patient had a visit from brother this evening. She appeared to be very pleased with the visit. She talked a little bit about still feeling suicidal and wanting to know why, since it was her life why couldn't she end it. She feels she has lived her life already and there isn't anything else to live for. Patient spacey at times. She also talked about her memory loss and [wondered] if it will ever return completely …
10/20/82 Nursing Note, 10p.m.
Status: Constant Observation
Patient stated the voices are constant and tell her to hurt herself at times, other times she states she feels she should hurt herself as well without listening to the voices. Patient also mentioned that she feels she can fly because she feels she flew before. Patient stated she flew 2 years ago when she was in college. Patient stated she went sky-diving. The first time she used a parachute, then second time, the patient stated she went sky-diving without a parachute and landed on her feet. Patient feels that this is not anything magical …
10
Nancy Schiller New York Hospital, White Plains, New York, November 1982–April 1983
It's funny but I had never really noticed before that there was a hospital back there.
I had never given the long, elegant, tree-lined drive more than a passing glance—even though the big brick entrance gates into the hospital loomed over several big department stores I had visited for years. Saks, Bloomingdale's, Neiman-Marcus—forever, it seemed, I had been shopping, visiting, lunching and enjoying myself all in the shadow of a large, famous psychiatric hospital. It was New York Hospital—Cornell Medical Center, Westchester Division, on Bloomingdale Road in White Plains, and it was there that, on September 24, 1982, Lori was moved by ambulance.
Under other circumstances I suppose I would have been grateful that it was here my daughter had been moved. It was obvious that this was as good as it got. Payne Whitney in Manhattan and New York Hospital in White Plains were both part of the same overall