Realms of the Underdark - J. Robert King [116]
"We can sample the best you surface dwellers have to offer in Skullport," Haukun boasted. "Beyond that, I see little reason to expose myself to the damned sun and daylight."
Volo tried a different tack to distract the captors.
Drawing on his research for his famous suppressed work, Volo's Guide to All Things Magical-and fully aware that all drow were required to take part in some magic training-the gazetteer tried to regale them with stories of different enchantments, artifacts, and phenomena that he had come across.
"Wait a minute," Courun interrupted, "do you mean that you are a wizard?"
"Well, no," Volo answered carefully, cautiously, and deceitfully, "I've just done a lot of research on it. That's all."
"It's hard stuff," Courun admitted. "I never was much good at those classes."
"If it hadn't been for our cheating on tests," Haukun added, "Courun and I would have been drider bait, for sure."
Not wishing to further tip his hand on his innate abilities, Volo once again changed the subject.
"Well, I bet you two are plenty expert on other things," the gazetteer observed.
"Like catching nosy writers," Courun said smugly.
"Uh, yes," Volo agreed. "But I was thinking more specifically of the goings-on in the Underdark itself. I did a lot of research before my first trip down here, and I am telling you, nothing beats firsthand experience."
"You can say that again," Woodehous agreed, trying to reenter the conversation. "It's like trying to learn how to cook without ever setting foot in a kitchen."
The maitre d'/cook/waiter's simile was lost on the two drow captors, so Volo continued his train of conversation.
"When I started studying the Underdark," Volo explained, "I had no idea there was so much going on. I had never even heard of a duergar, or a svirfneblin, or of thaalud, or of the great cities of Eryndlyn, Llurth Dreier, or Sshamath, and, of course, Menzoberranzan. I just knew I had to go there."
"And you did," Woodehous inserted.
"Uh, right," Volo continued with a quick glare at his fellow captive, signaling him to hold his tongue, "and that's why I felt I just had to do the Guide to the Underdark."
"I thought you were going to call it Volo Does Memo," Courun interrupted.
"Well, yes, and as I was…" Volo struggled to continue.
"So which is it?" Haukun demanded.
"And where is it?" Courun insisted.
Quickly regaining his composure, Volo calmly explained. "I don't get to pick the title," he asserted, "the publisher does… and as to the manuscript, don't worry about it."
"Well, give it to us," Haukun demanded.
"I don't have it with me," Volo continued, "but don't you worry. It's well hidden. No one back in Skullport will ever find it."
The two drow would-be warriors once again looked at each other and conversed in their native tongue. True, their entire retrieval of the interloping journalist would be for naught if the manuscript ever fell into another surface dweller's hands, thus undercutting the validity of their great deed and threatening their chances of vindication. The two talked for a few minutes, and finally nodded in agreement.
"If anyone asks," Haukun instructed boldly, "Courun and I destroyed your only copy of the manuscript."
"All right," Volo replied.
"And if either of you contradicts us," Courun added, "it will go extremely bad for you."
"We wouldn't think of it," Volo assured, "would we, Percy?"
"Of course not," Percy choked out, though he was quite unsure how his own fate could be made any worse than it already was.
"Fine," Courun said with a certain degree of finality. "Then let us proceed onward. I believe we're almost there."
"But of course," Volo agreed, once again helping Woodehous to his feet.
"Do you know any stories about drow maidens?" Haukun inquired as they set off down the tunnel.
"I do believe that back in Skullport I heard something about a young girl named Liriel, but I'm afraid the details have escaped me for the moment. Perhaps you would care to hear about a little intrigue that