Reaper Man - Terry Pratchett [71]
Simnel climbed back into the Harvester and nodded to the man leading the horse.
“Here we go again!”
“Any more for the Skylark?”
“Put a sock in it….”
The cries trailed off.
Half a dozen pairs of eyes followed the Combination Harvester up the field, stared while it was turned around on the headland, watched it come back again.
It clicked past, reciprocating and oscillating.
At the bottom of the field it turned around neatly.
It whirred by again.
After a while one of the watchers said, gloomily, “It’ll never catch on, you mark my words.”
“Right enough. Who’s going to want a gadget like that?” said another.
“Sure and it’s only like a big clock. Can’t do anything more than go up and down a field—”
“—very fast—”
“—cutting the corn like that and stripping the grain off—”
“It’s done three rows already.”
“Bugger me!”
“You can’t hardly see the bits move! What do you think of that, Bill? Bill?”
They looked around.
He was halfway up his second row, but accelerating.
Miss Flitworth opened the door a fraction.
“Yes?” she said, suspiciously.
“It’s Bill Door, Miss Flitworth. We’ve brought him home.”
She opened the door wider.
“What happened to him?”
The two men shuffled in awkwardly, trying to support a figure a foot taller than they were. It raised it’s head and squinted muzzily at Miss Flitworth.
“Don’t know what come over him,” said Duke Bottomley.
“He’s a devil for working,” said William Spigot. “You’re getting your money’s worth out of him all right, Miss Flitworth.”
“It’ll be the first time, then, in these parts,” she said sourly.
“Up and down the field like a madman, trying to better that contraption of Ned Simnel’s. Took four of us to do the binding. He nearly beat it, too.”
“Put him down on the sofa.”
“He tole him he was doing too much in all that sun—” Duke craned his neck to see around the kitchen, just in case jewels and treasure were hanging out of the dresser drawers.
Miss Flitworth eclipsed his view.
“I’m sure you did. Thank you. Now I expect you’ll be wanting to be off home.”
“If there’s anything we can do—”
“I know where you live. And you ain’t paid no rent there for five years, too. Goodbye, Mr. Spigot.”
She ushered them to the door and shut it in their faces. Then she turned around.
“What the hell have you been doing, Mr. So-Called Bill Door?”
I AM TIRED AND IT WON’T STOP.
Bill Door clutched at his skull.
ALSO SPIGOT GAVE ME A HUMOROUS APPLE JUICE FERMENTED DRINK BECAUSE OF THE HEAT AND NOW I FEEL ILL.
“I ain’t surprised. He makes it up in the woods. Apples isn’t the half of it.”
I HAVE NEVER FELT ILL BEFORE. OR TIRED.
“It’s all part of being alive.”
HOW DO HUMANS STAND IT?
“Well, fermented apple juice can help.”
Bill Door sat staring gloomily at the floor.
BUT WE FINISHED THE FIELD, he said, with a hint of triumph. ALL STACKED IN STOOKS, OR POSSIBLY THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
He clutched at his skull again.
AARGH.
Miss Flitworth disappeared into the scullery. There was the creaking of a pump. She returned with a damp flannel and a glass of water.
THERE’S A NEWT IN IT!
“Shows it’s fresh,” said Miss Flitworth,* fishing the amphibian out and releasing it on the flagstones, where it scuttled away into a crack.
Bill Door tried to stand up.
NOW I ALMOST KNOW WHY SOME PEOPLE WISH TO DIE, he said. I HAD HEARD OF PAIN AND MISERY BUT I HAD NOT HITHERTO FULLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT THEY MEANT.
Miss Flitworth peered through the dusty window. The clouds that had been piling up all afternoon towered over the hills, gray with a menacing hint of yellow. The heat pressed down like a vice.
“There’s a big storm coming.”
WILL IT SPOIL MY HARVEST?
“No. It’ll dry out after.”
HOW IS THE CHILD?
Bill Door unfolded his palm. Miss Flitworth raised her eyebrows. The golden glass was there, the top bulb almost empty. But it shimmered in and out of vision.
“How come you’ve got it? It’s upstairs! She was holding it like,”—she floundered—“like someone holds something very tightly.”
SHE STILL IS. BUT IT IS ALSO HERE. OR ANYWHERE.