Red Bones - Ann Cleeves [86]
Anna didn’t discuss any of this with Jane: she didn’t think the woman would understand that she preferred to work on her own. But at the end of the afternoon they exchanged email addresses and promised to keep in touch.
When she got home Anna felt almost elated and over supper she talked about the meeting to Ronald.
‘That’s good,’ he said. ‘I’m glad you had a fine afternoon.’ But she sensed he was preoccupied with his own thoughts. He wasn’t listening to her at all.
‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Something I can help with?’
He shook his head without speaking.
She felt another little stab of impatience. Why wasn’t he stronger and more decisive? She could forgive him almost everything except his weakness.
On the morning of the funeral she dressed carefully. As soon as she got up she took her dress from its plastic wrapper and laid Ronald’s suit on the bed. He’d disappeared early to the big house after another summons from Jackie. She went to have a bath and saw the suit was still there when she came back to the bedroom. Sitting in front of her dressing-table mirror to fix her make-up, she could see its reflection, reminding her that Ronald was still not home. Soon the neighbour who had offered to mind James would be here. Anna thought it would be embarrassing if Ronald hadn’t appeared before the woman arrived.
She didn’t usually bother with make-up, but today she wanted to show that she’d made an effort to look good. It was the only way she could face meeting all those people. Besides, her confidence could do with a boost too. She’d felt so lumpy and awkward in the last stages of pregnancy. She glanced at her watch again, although she knew quite well what time it was and wondered when Ronald would get back from his parents’ house. In another half an hour they would have to leave for the kirk. His lateness was making her feel tense. Where was he? She suspected he might have changed his mind about going to Mima’s funeral. I shouldn’t have let him go up to the big house, she thought. I shouldn’t have let him out of my sight. Anger began to bubble inside her. He always managed to let her down.
She began planning what she should do if he didn’t turn up. Should she go to the funeral alone? Then she heard the front door and felt the usual mix of fury and relief. She looked at her watch again. They’d just have time to make it.
He came into the bedroom. He was flushed. She thought he’d run down the hill.
‘My father won’t come,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s been in a state all week, but never this bad. My mother won’t leave him.’
‘We’ll just have to go on our own then.’ Anna thought this might be a blessing in disguise. She’d rather have Ronald to herself. They’d be more discreet, just the two of them. Much better than turning up mob-handed. Jackie was always fierce in defence of her son and capable of causing a scene. Anna turned to look at him, wondering if he planned to use his father as an excuse not to be at the funeral, but he was already getting undressed.
‘Do you think I’ve time for a shower?’
‘If you’re quick.’
Still in front of the mirror, she watched him coming out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped round him. She would have liked to take him into her arms and dry him, but she felt quite shy and instead watched him secretly,