Red Wolf_ A Novel - Liza Marklund [117]
‘It feels like it,’ she said, ‘but you know what they say in Runaway Train.’
‘Anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ Annika said, sitting down beside her.
As the central heating clicked, a toilet somewhere in the building flushed, and a bus pulled up and set off again down below, they sat there staring at the cupboard with the carved pineapples that Annika had bought from a flea-market.
‘There are always noises in the city,’ Anne eventually said.
Annika let some air out from her lungs in a dull sigh. ‘At least you’re never alone,’ she said, getting up. ‘Do you want anything? Coffee? Wine?’
Anne Snapphane didn’t move.
‘I’ve stopped drinking,’ she said.
‘Oh, it’s one of those days, is it?’ Annika said, standing and looking beyond the balcony at the courtyard below. Someone had forgotten to close the door to the room containing the waste-bins, it swung back and forth in the violent winds playing round the building.
‘It feels like I’ve been thrown in a bottomless pit and I’m just falling and falling,’ Anne said. ‘It started with Mehmet and his new fuck, then the talk about Miranda living with them; and now that my job has gone there’s nothing I can hold on to any more. Drinking on top of all that would be like pressing the fast-forward button.’
‘I see what you mean,’ Annika said, putting her hand on the door-handle to help her stay upright.
‘When I walk around town everything seems so strange. I don’t remember it ever looking like this. It’s hard to breathe, somehow. Everything’s so fucking grey. People look like ghosts; I get the idea that half of them are already dead. I don’t know if I’m alive. Can anyone live like that?’
Annika nodded and swallowed audibly, the door to the bin room crashed twice, bang, bang.
‘Welcome to the darkness,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry you’ve come to keep me company.’
It took a few moments for Anne to appreciate the seriousness of her words.
‘What’s happened?’ she said, getting up, taking off her coat and scarf and hanging them up. Then she joined Annika at the window, looking down at the bin room.
‘It’s a whole load of things,’ Annika said. ‘My position at work is pretty shaky; Schyman has forbidden me to write about terrorism. He thinks the Bomber made me a bit crazy.’
‘Huh,’ Anne said, folding her arms.
‘And Thomas is having an affair,’ she went on, almost in a whisper, the words rolling round the walls, growing larger and larger until they got caught on the ceiling.
Anne looked sceptically at her. ‘Whatever makes you think that?’
Annika’s throat contracted, the sticky little words wouldn’t come out. She looked down at her hands and cleared her throat, then looked up. ‘I saw them. Outside NK. He kissed her.’
Anne’s mouth had fallen half open, scepticism and disbelief dancing across her face.
‘Are you sure? You couldn’t be mistaken?’
Annika shook her head, looked down at her hands again.
‘Her name’s Sophia Grenborg, she works for the Federation of County Councils. She’s on the same working group as Thomas – you know, the one looking into threats to politicians . . .’
‘Shit,’ Anne said. ‘Shit. What a bastard. What’s he say? Does he deny it?’
Annika closed her eyes and put a hand to her forehead. ‘I haven’t said anything,’ she said. ‘I’m going to deal with this my own way.’
‘What?’ Anne said. ‘Rubbish. Of course you’ve got to talk to him.’
Annika looked up. ‘I know he’s thinking about leaving me and the children. He’s started lying to me as well. And he has been unfaithful before.’
Anne looked astonished. ‘Who with?’
Annika tried to laugh and felt the stone forcing tears into her eyes.
‘With me,’ she finally said.
Anne Snapphane sighed heavily and looked at her with eyes of black glass. ‘You’ve got to talk to him.’
‘And I hear angels,’ Annika said, taking a deep breath. ‘They sing to me, and sometimes they talk to me. As soon as I get stressed they start up.’
And she shut her eyes and hummed their melancholy song.
Anne Snapphane took hold of her shoulders and pulled her round to face her with a stern, dark expression on her face.
‘You’ve got to get help,