Redemption - Leon Uris [217]
Jeremy snatched the phone. “Cancel that. The request was made in error.”
“All right, let’s have at it, Jeremy. This gaffer squad of yours think they command this battalion. They take leave every night in Cairo. They have their own quarters. And your fraternization with them is nothing short of disgusting. Where are you on your free hours? Whoring around with enlisted men? Landers has just been waiting like a snake in the grass for an opportunity to strike me. I’m certain he’s planning to kill me in battle.”
Christopher stood. Jeremy slapped him in the face and shoved him back into the chair. “Shut your fucking mouth. If you put Serjeant Landers to the whipping post I’m going to beat the shit out of you right in front of the entire battalion.”
Christopher blinked, unable to totally fathom what he was hearing.
“In addition to the total collapse of a very beautiful battalion, with small thanks to your cheap brow-beating, you will have failed General Brodhead and disgraced your father for life,” Jeremy said firmly.
Jeremy poked around Chris’s desk, found a copy of the mule manual, and shoved it into his hands. “Open it to chapter two and read.”
Reveille was being blown outside. It would be another half-hour to roll call and longer yet before anyone else arrived at the headquarters building. Chris was trapped by a madman and felt an intensity from his brother he had never before known. Better to play along with him for now, Chris thought. He’d settle Jeremy’s number for good later in the day.
“Read!” Jeremy demanded.
Chris cleared his throat. His hands trembled and his voice was wavy. “‘Establishing a bond with your animal. The mule is a keenly alert beast, more so than a horse or donkey. His ears serve almost as a second pair of eyes. Note your mule’s ears always turn in the direction of sound. The mule will lay his ears back when contented but pop them up within a state of alert…’” Looking up from the manual, Chris pleaded, “Must I go on with this nonsense?”
“Read!”
“Very well.”
“‘Never, and we repeat the word NEVER, approach a mule from the…from the…’”
“Read!”
“‘Never approach a mule from the rear if there is another choice. If you must approach from the rear, remember that he is hitched and cannot see behind him, only hear. Call the mule by name softly to assure him of who you are and that there is no danger. Ask him how he feels today…’”
Chris sagged, looked up to Jeremy, and continued, “‘Ask him how he feels today. Then go around to the front, give him a handful of oats (which you will always keep in your pocket). Then give him a tickle under his eye.’”
Christopher sighed resignedly. The next passage was underlined. “ ‘If you come up behind a mule shouting or otherwise expressing distress or displeasure, it is an absolute certainty the mule will become alarmed and kick out with its hind legs. This can be extremely dangerous. The battalion vet has seen injuries resulting from mule kicks of cracked ribs, separated shoulders, broken arms, and more than one fractured skull.’ ”
Chris set the manual back on his desk.
“Now then,” Jeremy said with normal voice, “these mules have no value to the British Army. They have been horrendously maltreated and all of them have one infirmity or another from overwork, underfeeding, neglect, and beatings. I suggest you send them back to Colonel Sattersfield and stand behind your men.”
“Have the Jew…”
“He has a name.”
“Have Mr. Pearlman confirm their condition in a written memorandum. I shall reject them. However, Jeremy, what you threatened here was mutiny. I want you out of here.”
“You shouldn’t be so surprised. You know all about amutiny, don’t you?”
“I will not have you take command of my battalion.”
“Christ sake, Chris, I don’t want your battalion.”
Christopher verged on a hard decision. He knew he’d better make it calmly. He had to