Reign of Shadows - Deborah Chester [26]
Beva stared at him in disapproval. “The idea of fighting pleases you.”
“Well, I think we should defend ourselves, not—”
Beva turned his pony and rode on through the trees without another word.
Caelan scowled, feeling the dismissal as strongly as the blow of a proctor’s staff. His words, his opinions were not worthy enough to be heard. To his father, he remained a child of no standing. Resentfully, Caelan sat a long while, reining his pony when it tried to follow the other one.
Finally, reluctantly, he kicked his mount forward.
Fuming, he glared at his father, who refused to face reality. Beva wasn’t going to bend principle one tiny bit, not even to be practical. How could his father wander the forest unarmed and unprepared with these raiders bringing real danger to the area? How could Beva depend on inner harmony, on severance against barbarians who probably had never heard of such enlightened philosophies?
Maybe Beva wasn’t as wise as he’d always thought. Maybe Beva didn’t know everything. Maybe Beva was capable of making mistakes just like everyone else. It sure looked like his father was making some now.
When his pony caught up, Caelan glanced at his father’s stern profile. “I’m sorry your opinion of me is so low. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
Beva tucked his chin deeper into the folds of his hood. “It is actions, not words, that speak truth.”
Caelan frowned and tried to hold onto his temper. “Whether you approve of fighting or not, it doesn’t change the fact that we may be forced to defend our hold. What can we do to protect ourselves?”
“We have the warding keys.”
Astonished, Caelan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “They aren’t enough!”
Beva glanced sideways at him. “They are from the old ways, yes. While I do not approve of them, they do work. Someday, when all men are enlightened into the paths of severance, we shall not need warding keys or weapons.”
“But that day has not yet come,” Caelan said impatiently. “And until it does, we have to be strong and defend what belongs to us.”
Beva sighed. “I had hoped the school would tame this wild spirit inside you. This craving for excitement, for things beyond the ordinary. Why can you not understand that excitement equals danger, that danger destroys, that destruction takes away all that is good and harmonious, leaving only chaos and harm in its wake?”
“But, Father, when the danger comes to us, what are we to do? Just let it destroy us?”
“To admire danger is to summon it. You have been warned of this, boy.”
Caelan frowned. “So are you saying the Thyzarenes are my fault, that I brought them here?”
“Rebellion opens the gateway to darkness,” Beva said. “When enough hearts resist harmony, then darkness grows.”
Caelan slammed his fist against the pommel of his saddle. “I don’t believe this,” he muttered furiously.
“Elder Sobna told me you ran away from Rieschelhold, choosing night as your ally. You found only danger in your search for excitement, did you not?” Beva’s voice was cold, holding condemnation with no hint of concern. “You brought danger to others. The soldiers you admire proved their brutality by attacking you. Has this lesson taught you nothing? Fighting only brings more fighting, just as war begets war.”
“But how can a person learn if he doesn’t seek—”
“The search is inward, not outward. I have told you so many times.”
Caelan frowned. “But to sit and meditate ... I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“I just can’t.”
“You mean you will not.”
“All right, then, I won’t!” Caelan admitted stubbornly. “I want to see new places, to travel, to have adventures. I want to see the world and all its wonders, not remain forever cooped up in a hold with my hands tucked inside my sleeves.”
“The journey must follow an inner road,” Beva said with a reproof. “Why do you resist this truth?”
Caelan gestured behind him. “And what of that imperial road, leading across the world?”
“Leading to ways of wickedness and error. This, you crave.