Reign of Shadows - Deborah Chester [51]
“Why not? Don’t you love me?”
He struggled to master himself. “Of course,” he said, and saw disbelief hot in her eyes. Dismay rose in him. How could he explain? “Lea, it has nothing to do with how much I love you. If I took you, Father would have to come after us. You belong to him by law until you are married.”
She tossed her bright head. “I’m not going to be married.”
“Well, even so. I’m going far away. It will be a hard, dangerous trip.”
“You’re going to join the army,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “That’s why you bartered for the dagger that has killed men. You want to kill too.”
Angrily he turned away from her. “Now you sound like Father.”
“It is a bad thing, Caelan. You know it. We have been taught to respect all life, to honor it.”
“I know,” he said, staring at the floor. He sighed. “I know.”
Silence fell between them, and he was grateful for it. He had no words to explain this to her. It was as though the world called him forth, drawing him through a gateway toward exploration and adventure. Overmastered by it, he could do nothing except obey.
“I will pray for you,” Lea said at last, sounding far older than her age. She pulled a little pouch out from beneath her clothing and slipped its thong over her head. “You will need money, and since you did not rob Father’s earnings box like you wanted to, I will give you my emeralds.”
“No!” he said immediately, then saw her face and softened his tone. “Thank you, but they are yours. I cannot take them.”
“But I want you to have them.”
“No,” he said gently, putting the loop back over her head and patting the small cloth pouch. “You will need them someday.”
“But—”
“Not a man in a thousand comes across such a treasure in a lifetime. Your stones are a precious gift. You must honor that by keeping them for yourself. They are not for me. And how do you know I wanted to steal from the earnings box?”
She grinned, distracted by the question as he had intended. “You have no secrets from me!”
He caught her hands firmly in his and squeezed them. “But you must keep mine, promise? You will tell no one where I have gone, even if you guess it.”
Grief darkened her blue eyes. Slowly she nodded. “I don’t want you to go. You said you would never leave me.”
“I have to.” Her pain entered his own heart, and he kissed her hands.
Her tears fell onto their gripped hands, hot on their cold flesh.
“I’m sorry, little one,” he said. “I cannot keep that promise.”
She shivered and he straightened.
“Are you cold?”
She nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “We’ve been here long enough. If they’re going to give you any emeralds, they’ve had plenty of time. Look close as we go out.”
His excitement rose again in spite of his own doubts. He was hardly worthy of any gifts from the spirits, but maybe worth had nothing to do with it. He followed her out, staring at the ground carefully.
He found nothing by the time he reached the mouth of the cave. Ruefully, he shook his head and crouched down. “Well, we tried,” he said, swallowing his disappointment. It had been too much to hope for anyway. “I’m sorry we couldn’t come back sooner while the earth spirits were in the giving mood.”
“They have to be kind to you too,” she said fretfully, disappointment sharp in her voice. She stamped her foot. “You’re my brother. They have to like you just as much as me.”
“Lea, we need to go. I have to get you home, and then I must start on my journey.”
“Not yet.” Bending over, she circled around him and headed back into the cave. “Don’t give up so easily.”
He waited, knowing this was just her tactic to keep him there as long as possible.
She searched, but found nothing. Finally she bumped against his side and sighed, looking tired. “Maybe it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought my stones. The spirits probably think I’m greedy.”
“No, they know why you came back,” he said gently, putting his hand on her curls.
“Go look one more time.”
“Lea, it’s no good.”
“Please.”
“Lea—”
“Please. Just one more time.”
“All right,” he said to humor her. “But then