Remember Me - Lesley Pearse [33]
‘I thought you’d steal food while you were in the galley,’ he said with a sneer.
‘Our arrangement wasn’t for me to steal what I need,’ she said sharply. One of the guards had watched her most of the time she was in the galley, and to her disappointment all she’d managed to get her hands on was a bit of cheese. ‘I’ve kept my part of the bargain, so you keep yours.’
As she put the new dress on he turned away and opened a tin box. ‘Very well,’ he said, his back turned to her. ‘But keep your mouth shut about this. If word gets out I’ll have you flogged.’
He handed her a cold pasty and an apple.
‘Thank you, sir,’ she said, and made an insolent curtsy. ‘I won’t be boasting about it. I’m not proud to stoop this low either.’
As he bent to lock her chains, she felt his hurt. She might have added something kinder, but she was too busy eating the pasty.
The weeks and months passed very slowly into autumn and finally to winter, bringing with it the prospect of freezing to death. With only one blanket apiece, the women huddled even closer together at night. There were several more deaths among the older ones, but a new influx took their places, and still there was no news of the transportation.
Will Bryant had been on the Dunkirk for two years already and he often joked to Mary through the grille that his seven-year sentence would be up before they set sail.
Mary was still every bit as desperate to escape. She knew the layout of the upper decks intimately: who patrolled at any given time of the day; the times when there were fewer guards on duty. But no feasible opportunity to escape had presented itself yet, however vigilant she was. She certainly wasn’t going to attempt it in a foolhardy way, for if she was caught she could expect a hundred lashes at least.
So, like Will, she had learned to bear her imprisonment, concentrating her energies on finding ways to alleviate the misery and stay alive and healthy. Whilst her continuing good health and her work up on deck, and nights away, did create some jealousy among the other women, she still commanded their respect for being their spokeswoman when required. She also helped herself to anything useful which came her way – rags for the women’s menses, soap and small amounts of food when she could get it – and gave it away to those who needed it most.
Mary Haydon and Catherine Fryer, along with Aggie as their vociferous mouthpiece, did their best to make the other women turn against Mary, but the only real charge that stuck against her was that she was aloof and proud. Mary didn’t mind them saying that of her – pride to her wasn’t a fault – and as for being aloof, she supposed she was, in as much as she kept her own counsel and tried to rise above the petty squabbling some of the others went in for. But no one ever called her a whore, though she was well aware that was in fact what she’d become, even if it was only with Lieutenant Graham.
Once, sometimes twice, a week she slept in his cabin. He slipped her extra food, gave her clean clothes now and then, and showed her a certain amount of affection. But she was still nowhere nearer understanding the man.
At times it seemed as if he was in love with her, at others he appeared to loathe her. She now knew he was married with two children, and when he did speak of his wife Alicia it was almost with awe. Yet he persisted in bedding Mary, and seemed desperate for her to say she loved him. At times he gave her some pleasure, but more often his love-making was like the first night, fast, furious and without any feeling.
Mary’s feelings for Graham were based on pity more than anything else, for she sensed he was a complicated man, who didn’t appear to have any true friends. He had no real love for the Marines and had told her many times he wished he could resign his commission. Mary sensed he was a coward, and that he lived in fear of being given new orders to go somewhere dangerous. Yet he liked the power he had as an officer and knew there was no place for him in civilian life.
Mary suspected that even the marriage he claimed was such