Reviving Ophelia - Mary Bray Pipher [10]
When outraged, she took on the world. She got a black eye from fighting with a boy who said that girls couldn’t play soccer. Once she dunked a much older boy who was throwing rocks at a little turtle. She threatened to hit kids who were racist. Because she was good at standing up for herself and concerned with justice, her teachers predicted she’d go to law school.
In elementary school Cayenne didn’t fret much about her appearance. She weighed in once a year at the doctor’s office and was pleased with gains in her height and weight chart. She wore jeans and T-shirts unless forced to dress up. Her mother had to beg her to go shopping and remind her to brush her hair.
She walked to school every day with her best friend, Chelsea. She and Chelsea biked together, watched television, played on the same ball teams and helped each other with chores. They talked about everything—parents, school, sports and interests. They shared their dreams. Chelsea wanted to be a pilot, and Cayenne wanted to be a doctor. They made up elaborate fantasies in which Chelsea would fly Cayenne into a remote Alaskan village to deliver a baby or amputate the leg of a fisherman.
Cayenne liked school. Her grades were good and she loved projects, especially science projects. Twice she was on the Olympics of the Mind team. She’d known most of the kids in her class since kindergarten. She played ball with them and went to their houses for birthday parties.
Cayenne got along well with her parents. Marla, her older sister, had been the moodier and more disobedient child. As an adolescent, Marla sneaked out of the house to drink with her friends. Cayenne felt sorry for her parents when Marla yelled or made them worry, and she promised she would never act that way.
Of course, Cayenne wasn’t perfect. She’d never liked to clean her room and was fidgety in church. She preferred junk food to fruits and vegetables. About twice a year Cayenne would be cranky and sullen for a day, but mostly she was easy-going. Bad days were so rare that they were events, like Groundhog Day. Her parents came to depend on Cayenne as their emotional centerboard, and they jokingly called her “Old Faithful.”
At twelve, Cayenne had her first period. As her body grew rapidly, it became awkward and unpredictable. She gained weight, especially in her hips, and she got acne. Cayenne moved from her neighborhood school to a junior high with 2,000 students. She was nervous the first day because she’d heard rumors that seventh-graders’ heads were stuffed in the toilets and that boys pulled down the girls’ blouses. Fortunately these things didn’t happen, but she came home upset that some boys teased her and that the girls wore makeup and expensive clothes. She was criticized for her JCPenney jeans, and even Chelsea begged her to give up soccer practice and spend Saturday at the mall.
Cayenne grew quieter and less energetic. For the first time she needed to be coaxed into doing things with the family. She stopped wanting hugs from her parents and brushed them away when they approached her. She didn’t laugh or talk to them.
Her parents expected some of this. When Cayenne became self conscious about her appearance, it saddened them, but they knew this was “normal.” They were more upset when she quit playing soccer and when her grades dropped, even in science, which Cayenne now considered hard and boring.
Meanwhile Chelsea’s parents divorced and Chelsea fell in with a wild crowd. She invited Cayenne to join and called her a “Muffy” when she hesitated. Eventually Cayenne became part of the group. Her parents suspected that this crowd might be using alcohol or drugs. They encouraged Cayenne to do more with other girls, but she complained about cliques. They tried to steer her toward sports and school activities, but she felt these things were for nerds.
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