Reviving Ophelia - Mary Bray Pipher [45]
I’d heard about Jody from her teachers and wanted to interview her. This afternoon she was home alone. Her sisters were at ball practice and her mother and brothers were at a church bazaar. Her dad was at work in the family tree-trimming and firewood business.
I’d seen a photo of Jody in the paper when she was homecoming queen, but today I wouldn’t have recognized her. She wore no makeup and her long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She was dressed in gray sweats and glowed with good health and wholesomeness. I knew she had a softball scholarship and I asked first about sports.
Jody said, “Everyone plays ball in my family. All my uncles coach and my cousins play. We start as soon as we’re old enough to catch a ball. The family business sponsors several softball teams. My grandmother has a master calendar she uses in the summer to keep track of all the games. In a record week she attended seventeen games.”
I asked what role her father had played in her life as an athlete.
“Dad has a great philosophy of sports,” Jody said. “He taught us to play for fun. He thinks that we learn more from losing than winning, and that our goal should be to improve with every game.”
I asked, “How does he deal with your mistakes?”
“Sometimes he might show us something we did wrong, but he doesn’t say much.” She laughed. “Dad does get upset about bad sportsmanship. He never lets us get aggressive or blame other players.”
Jody had great respect for her father. Her church taught her that men were in charge of decisions. Her father decided where the family would go on vacations and how they spent money. He led the family prayers and made the rules and punishments.
“How are you disciplined?” I asked.
“Until sixth grade we got spankings, after that, groundings. There was no back talk. If we did something wrong, we got punished. Dad didn’t let us off when we cried or apologized.”
I asked how she would discipline her kids. Jody said carefully, “I know it’s not popular to say, but I would spank my kids too. I think it taught us right from wrong.”
“Does your family discuss problems as they come up?”
“Not as a family. I talk to my mom, and my brothers and sisters talk to me. Mom talks to Dad, and he doesn’t talk to anyone.”
She paused. “I’ve only seen Dad cry one time—when his mom died. That scared me.”
Jody sipped her tea. “Dad is hard to get along with sometimes. If he’s had a tough day at work he can be impatient. I wish he spent more time with the family.”
She brushed her hair from her face and said quickly, “I know he loves us, though. He takes care of our family. When we do something that makes him proud, he doesn’t compliment us directly, but maybe he’ll punch us in the arm or give us a noogie.”
Jody answered the phone. It was her aunt inviting them over to Sunday dinner. Jody’s family spent most Sundays with this aunt’s family. The parents played cards on Saturday nights. They all played ball together and attended the same church.
I asked about Jody’s mom. She smiled. “Mom’s a total sweetheart. She’ll do anything for us kids. She won’t buy anything for herself until we have what we need. She dropped out of high school to get married, but she wants us to go to college.”
“How do your parents get along with each other?”
Jody shook her head. “They fight quite a bit. Mom tries to do what Dad says, but sometimes she gets mad at him. He’s picky about housework and that bugs her.”
“How has it been being the oldest in the family?”
“I take care of my sisters and brothers when Mom is doing the bookkeeping for Dad. I cook most nights. My parents were strictest