Reviving Ophelia - Mary Bray Pipher [68]
Klara continued to care about her appearance, but our talks about lookism gave her a new perspective. She wanted to be valued for more than her appearance and she no longer let Phil make negative comments about heavy women.
Klara loved her bald, sexist dad and remained fiercely protective of him. I was careful not to say anything critical about Kurt, who was Klara’s shelter from the storm. She wasn’t ready, and maybe never would be, to examine her relationship with her father.
Kurt came in for one more session at the end of my work with his daughter. He said to me, “I thought this was a racket at first, but the proofs in the pudding. Klara’s a hell of a lot better. No doubt about that.”
He paused and said softly, “She laughs like her mother used to.” I offered to see him again, but he adamantly refused. “That’s girl stuff. I’m fine.” He thanked me for helping his daughter and gallantly ended our session by saying, “Not all doctors are money-grubbing quacks.”
Chapter 7
DIVORCE
JULIA (14)
Jean, an animated woman dressed in a business suit, reported that her daughter had been arrested for being a minor in possession of alcohol. Julia, dressed in pink stretch pants, an oversized sweater and shark earrings, groaned and folded her arms across her chest. “I had one beer.”
I listened as Jean explained their complicated family. Julia’s parents had divorced two years ago after her father became involved with a younger woman. He had since married the younger woman and moved to a nearby town. They had a baby girl born three months ago. Since the birth of his new daughter, Julia’s father hadn’t seen Julia. He called a couple of times, but was busy with the new baby and his new wife. Jean hadn’t even told him about Julia’s arrest.
Jean had been the custodial parent since the divorce. She worked at an accounting firm and they’d scraped by on her earnings. Jean, Julia and Reynold, Julia’s ten-year-old brother, had moved to a smaller house in a less expensive part of town. The children had to change schools and Julia had been cut off from her closest friends.
A year ago in Parents Without Partners, Jean had met Al, the owner of a small printing company. Right away she had liked his kindness and sense of humor. He liked her efficiency and common sense. For several months they met on Saturday nights for dinner and a movie. They combined their children for some family picnics and miniature-golf outings. Three months ago they were married.
Jean, Julia and Reynold had moved again, into Al’s home with his three boys. This fall Julia attended her third junior high in two years. Jean said, “Reynold hasn’t had much trouble. He’s a jock who found friends right away on the softball team. But the divorce hit at a bad time for Julia. She was just beginning seventh grade. At her first new school she was shy and didn’t make friends. At her next school she made friends with the kids who were smoking and drinking. I’m sure her arrest is connected to all the changes.”
I thought to myself that most teenagers, like plants, don’t do well with moves.
Julia curled her feet under her and nestled into the couch. “I know Mom and Dad weren’t getting along, but I was fine. I haven’t been happy since the divorce.”
She looked at her mother. “Al’s not a bad guy—he’s good to Mom—but I hate his sons. They’re spoiled rotten. I have to pick up after them and do their dishes. Al lets them get away with murder. They’re jerks.”
“It’s true that Julia does more than her share. Al’s boys never have had chores. Al’s a softy,” Jean said.
“Most step-families need some counseling, especially if there are teenagers,” I said. “Making a new family is so difficult that everyone