Riding Rockets - Mike Mullane [190]
I also considered what type of mission I might draw. I craved a spacewalk, but so did every other MS. Instead of an EVA, I might find myself on a Spacelab mission butchering mice and cleaning shit from monkey cages. The thought of waiting around a couple years only to end up as a space zoo janitor wasn’t appealing.
And then there was the toll my career was taking on Donna. Though she wasn’t about to use it against me, I was enough of a husband to at least think about it. And I was still learning about that burden. At a party I overheard a TFNG wife comment about the unaccompanied status of theChallenger widows. “There aren’t a lot of men who would feel comfortable stepping into a dead astronaut’s shoes.” The observation hit me like a fist. I had never considered just how different the burdens of anastronaut widow were. I knew men. There weren’t a lot of us capable of stepping into the shadow of a national hero—sure to wilt more than just an ego. Years later, at an astronaut reunion party, a TFNG widow told me, “I’ve dated, but nothing ever really develops.” Men just couldn’t deal with her deceased husband’s astronaut title, she explained.
The unknowns, the fear, the burden on the family…they were all pointing to the NASA JSC front gate—time to drive out of it forever. I was within days of telling Brandenstein of my decision when the phone rang. It was Don Puddy. I was being assigned to another DOD mission, STS-36, only a year away. My sentence as an unassigned astronaut had lasted a month.
Puddy’s call put me on a 6-G pullout from the bottom loop of the astronaut roller coaster. I now soared skyward. Every doubt, every fear about staying at NASA was gone. Within a year, I would once again be Prime Crew. When I told Donna the news, she smiled, but her eyes said volumes more. My announcement gut-shot her. I knew she wanted out. But she took it like a loyal soldier. She would be there for me no matter what.
Only a single aspect of STS-36 would ultimately be declassified, our orbit inclination.Atlantis would carry us into an orbit tilted 62 degrees to the equator, the highest inclined orbit ever flown by humans (it still remains the record). This wasn’t the polar orbit planned for STS-62A (that would have been nearly a 90-degree inclination), but it meant we would get a view of more of the Earth’s surface than any astronauts in history. Our orbit would almost reach the Arctic and Antarctic circles.
I would be one of two TFNGs on the mission. The other, J. O. Creighton (owner of theSin Ship ski boat and Corvette my children found so alluring) would be the mission CDR. Like Hoot, J.O. was an exceptional pilot and leader. John Casper (class of 1984) would be the PLT. The other two MSes on the mission would be Dave Hilmers (class of 1980) and Pierre Thuot (class of 1985). In spite of his wimpy-sounding French name, Pierre was all-American. His astronaut nickname was Pepe.
Because our crew was at the back of the training line, Dave Hilmers and I had time to serve as the family escorts for STS-30. For the first time in my career, I was now the potential “escort into widowhood.” The assignment allowed me another glimpse into the world of the astronaut spouse. At one of the beach house gatherings, Kirby Thagard broke into tears as she told the others that June Scobee had called to wish them all good luck. Just the name of aChallenger widow was enough to sheen the eyes of many of the women…at least when their own husbands were hours from launch.
Our days in Florida with the families were pleasant. Unlike some spouses who had earned reputations for treating the family escorts as personal butlers, the STS-30 wives were easy to work with. Because the mission CDR, Dave Walker, and one of the MSes, Mary Cleave, were single, there were only three spouses in our care: Kirby Thagard, Mary Jo Grabe, and Dee Lee. They adopted Dave and me into their extended families and we were guests at their numerous parties and other functions.
The crew was also a pleasure to work with. Mary Cleave was great fun. Now forty-two years old,