Rising tide - Mel Odom [102]
Jherek understood. Finaren had kept Butterfly operating in the same fashion. If men didn't get along, they admitted and confronted each other, and truces were worked out. If talking didn't settle it, they fought, though no killing was permitted. If the one fight didn't settle matters, Finaren picked one of the men and helped the other, if he was a good worker, find another ship.
He tried to think of something to say, but no words came readily to his lips. Luckily, she continued, making a effort to fill the uncomfortable silence that had threatened to come between them.
"When you put a woman on a ship," Sabyna said, "you affect ship's morale. I can't afford to get close to any man on this ship. Such a thing has a tendency to split the crew. Yet, I'm a woman still, with womanly desires. It's one thing to entertain myself on shore leave, but those are transitory things. Breezerunner is my home, and it makes me feel good about myself to invite someone into my home and fix a meal for them, share a conversation. Do you understand?"
"Aye, I think that I do," Jherek answered, looking into her impassioned gaze, knowing what she felt in part. He'd never had what he considered a home to himself, except maybe the loft over the barn he'd rented before Madame litaar had taken him into her home. He'd never allowed himself to get close to others, not even Butterfly's crew, because of his secret.
"I'm no common woman to be treated in a casual manner." She looked away. "Should you get a berth on this ship when you get to Baldur's Gate, things between us would change. I don't fraternize with crew, and you need to know that as well."
He nodded. Her honesty felt much different from the Amman woman's from three days ago. There were no demands being put on him, only an interest evidenced.
Strangely, he found that it frightened him more than the Amnian woman's bald advances.
"What's on your mind?" Sabyna asked.
He looked away from her, not knowing what to say.
"Tell me if I've completely embarrassed myself," she said in a contrite voice, "but I know no other way to let someone know what I'm thinking other than to tell them."
Hearing the uncertainty in her voice, Jherek turned back to face her. "No, lady, you've not embarrassed yourself. I think you show great sense and have courage to speak your mind."
"Then what?"
She waited, which made it even harder to speak.
"I thought eveningfeast tonight was just in appreciation for the work I'd been doing," he stated finally.
"You accepted because you liked the idea of a meal cooked only for you, or being seen with the only female on the ship's crew? If that's the case, then I was wrong about you." She wrapped up more tightly in her part of the blanket.
"No, lady, that's not it. I took your eveningfeast invitation because I wanted to get to know you more."
"You didn't think I'd invited you for the same reason?"
"No, I didn't."
Sabyna laughed softly. "In some ways, for a sailor, you're very naive," she said. "Why wouldn't you think I'd be interested in you?"
"I'm very common, lady."
"You work hard, yet you keep to yourself. You're opinionated, but you keep those opinions to yourself. You're brave and caring. Tonight has shown me that. Those are all traits a woman could be interested in." She paused. "You said you'd wanted to get to know me better. What about me made you feel that way?"
Surprisingly, Jherek found the answer to that easy, if somewhat disconcerting to admit. "I liked your smile," he told her, "and I liked the way you handle yourself. You walk this deck confidently, lady."
"My beauty didn't turn your head?"
Jherek faced her, not believing he hadn't thought to comment on her beauty. In all the stories he'd read, the heroes always talked of their lady love's beauty. She wasn't his lady love, he reminded himself, and life didn't always have