Risky Pleasures - Brenda Jackson [45]
He gazed around the room and saw the open patio door. Evidently she hadn’t been able to sleep. For a long while, neither had he. It was hard as hell to accept that their twelve days were over and that today at noon he would be flying out, returning to the States.
He tightened his fists at his sides, damning their agreement. There was no way she could deny that their time together had been special, especially the last six days. They had taken early-morning walks on the beach, picnics on the bay, and had made love under the moonlight in a number of places. He would miss her like hell when he left and he hoped and prayed each day that she would realize they were meant to be together.
A shiver passed through him at the thought of the separation they faced. What if, when she returned to Charlotte, she had no problem in keeping her end of the agreement and would not want to see him again? What if their time together meant more to him than it did to her? What if his entire plan backfired and he wasn’t any closer to having her as a part of his life than he had been before taking Morgan’s advice?
He pulled himself up in bed, suddenly thinking about all the things he’d never wanted from a woman before, but now had to have from Vanessa. He’d thought he wanted possession, wanted to make her a part of his life without any deep emotional attachment or binding commitment. After all, he was a man who didn’t do emotional attachments. But now he wanted it all. He wanted her.
He loved her.
He sucked in a deep, shaky breath with that admission. It was one he had thought he would never make again after Stacy. But Vanessa had proven him wrong. She had brought out in him something no woman had done in over ten years—his desire to love unconditionally. She had broken down his defenses and made the twisted reason he’d wanted her in his life into something he hadn’t counted on. Love.
He had always wanted Vanessa but hadn’t realized or accepted that he also loved her.
Now he did, and what the hell was he supposed to do about it? He slowly slid back down in the bed. One thing he would not do was let her have her way and turn her back on what they could have together. His heart was at stake, and he was determined that, in the end, she would love him as much as he loved her.
He heard the sliding of the patio door and lowered his eyelids, pretending sleep. He wasn’t ready to admit his feelings to Vanessa just yet. Not until he had another workable plan.
Through half-closed eyes he watched as she dropped her robe and eased her naked body into bed beside him. She cuddled close, skin to skin, and lowered her head to his chest. Then, moments later she glanced up, placed a kiss on his lips and whispered, “I’m going to miss you when you leave, Cameron Cody. A hell of a lot more than I should.”
He didn’t say anything since he knew she assumed he was asleep and her words hadn’t been meant for him to hear. But those words sent every cell in his body vibrating. If she was fighting any feelings for him and was pretty close to the edge, he intended to push her over. He would try and be patient, but he wouldn’t let her send him out of sight and out of mind.
When she cuddled back in his arms to reclaim sleep, a smile curved his lips. There were some risks worth taking, and no matter what it took, he intended to convince Vanessa of that.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the airstrip with me?”
Vanessa shook her head as she watched Cameron get dressed. They had awakened that morning and made love. Then they had gone downstairs and, as they’d done on a number of other mornings, they had prepared breakfast together. Afterwards, they had come back upstairs to make love again. Now she was sitting up in bed half-naked and he was putting on his shirt and pants. A limo would be arriving in less than an hour to take him to the airport where his private jet would return him to the