Rooms - James L. Rubart [114]
“I don’t see clearly?”
“When you allow fear to creep in, no. Like right now. The loss of Sarah is blinding you to the fact that God is in this. That He has another out there for you. Fear and faith cannot exist together. The questions and doubts always come down to faith in the end. And what good is our faith with sacrifice? And this is a sacrifice God has asked us to make in order to be fully His.”
“Sacrifice?” Micah slammed his fist into the wall behind him and stood. “I’ve given up my company, my career, my awards, my condo, my money, my fame, and you say that’s not enough? I have to sacrifice Sarah, the one thing left on this earth that means anything to me? And I have to sacrifice my relationship with God?”
Micah turned to walk out, then stopped. “The moment I crossed the city limits back into Seattle, God vanished. Since then my prayers have slammed into a ceiling an inch above my head. Yeah, sure, that makes perfect sense. The Lord is asking me to sacrifice my relationship with Him for Him!”
When Micah finished, sobs seeped toward him out of the darkness. “I know it’s hard, so hard. Feeling so distant from God. But we cannot rely on feelings, only on truth. He is taking us through a dry time now to see if we will still choose Him, still choose the hard path even when we can’t sense His presence nearby. This is our desert time, and we must not turn back to the pretend comfort of a mirage but keep walking the straight-and-narrow path through the wasteland to the true oasis God has designed for us.”
“You know, I’m finished with your ornate oratory. Just say what comes next.”
“Start over.”
“What does that mean?” Micah again sank down the wall into the thick carpet.
“Go back to Seattle. Stay this time, even if RimSoft is completely gone. Build another company, this time for the right reasons. Not your outcome but one with eternal impact.”
“Impossible. I’m done with that life.”
“With God all things are possible.” The voice paused and cleared his throat. “Besides, there is a small part of you that isn’t done with that life. That still wants it. We can fan that ember into a flame again.”
It was true. Images of the European and tropical trips filled his mind. The restaurants in Spain, the beaches in French Polynesia, the awards, the interviews on national TV, the money to buy anything he wanted.
“The world needs you to start that new company. Think of the lives you could touch with the message of truth.”
“This is where I want to be.”
“We are to deny ourselves and pick up our cross daily.”
“You exhaust me and offer nothing but confusion. I need clarity.” Micah stood and walked out, slamming the door with enough force to knock a picture in the hallway off the wall. He didn’t bother to pick it up.
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The next morning Micah ran down to Hug Point and back to clear the confusion swirling around him.
No help.
After he finished his run, he showered, then pushed through the first two chapters of Galatians in his Bible.
Dust.
As he finished cleaning up his breakfast dishes, he glanced at the cordless phone in the kitchen. What if the voice was right about RimSoft being completely gone? He had no delusions it would bring good news, but he couldn’t stop himself from dialing that familiar number.
The third ring had just started when the receptionist chirped, “RimWare, what can I do to make your day better right now?”
Micah rolled his eyes. He never would have let anyone answer the phone with something so trite. “Human Resources, please.”
“Of course. One moment, please.”
He started pacing after ten seconds. At a minute and a half a male voice squeaked, “May I help you?”
“Hi, my name is Allen Vorreiter from Norwest Medical, and I need to verify the employment status of one of your workers.”
“Norwest Medical? Yeah, okay. Who?”
“Micah Taylor. Just need to know what department he works in.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Uh, yeah, hang on.”
After an intolerably long forty-five seconds, Human Resources Guy coughed out,