Rooms - James L. Rubart [67]
In that moment his heart changed.
Six weeks later on that baseball diamond, it had shattered. “Just like you killed your mom.”
“I’m so sorry, Flash.”
The boy didn’t speak.
At nine years old he was alone in the world. No one would love him, no one would guide him. From then on he’d taken control of his life: the good, the bad, and the hideous parts.
“You think there’s no one who loves you,” Micah said.
“There isn’t.”
“You feel abandoned, totally alone.”
Flash nodded. “I am.” The words were a whisper.
Tears flowed from the boy and turned into racking sobs. Micah grabbed Flash and pulled him close, and they cried together.
The tears eventually slowed, and a strand of hope weaved its way into the pain till it overshadowed the sorrow. Healing.
“It’s better,” said the young Micah. “But I probably won’t forget.”
Micah hadn’t forgotten. How could he ever? As hard as he’d tried, that day at the beach had caused this day on the baseball field and so many other memories like it as he grew up under his father’s loathing.
Are you ready? the Voice inside said.
“Yes.”
Let’s bring the broken part back to where it belongs.
“Flash?” Micah said. “Jesus is going to talk to you now.”
“Okay.”
I will never leave you, Flash. Ever. You are not alone. I’m here now. I’ve always been here, and nothing can separate us. Nothing. Do you know that?
Flash nodded.
And I love you with a love that nothing can stop. Do you believe this?
Flash nodded again. Huge tears dropped from the boy’s eyes as he crawled up on Micah’s lap and wrapped his thin arms around Micah’s neck. He held his younger self for ages.
Your turn now, Micah.
“What? Mine? I can’t forgive my dad.”
I’m not asking you to. That will come. You must first forgive another that will bring great healing.
“Who?”
Yourself.
“For what?”
You did not kill her. It is a lie you have believed for too long. There is nothing you could have done to save her. We must break the lie now.
“I know I didn’t kill her; I was nine when I believed that.”
Your mind knows the truth, but your heart still believes the lie. In this area of your life, you are still nine. We must heal that part of your heart. Are you willing?
In the dream Micah began speaking.
||||||||
The next morning at 6:30, Micah woke with only a slight recollection of the dream. But the dream didn’t slowly fade from consciousness as most did. It went the opposite direction. After two minutes every nuance of the encounter with the younger Micah was etched into his mind.
The healing he’d experienced in the dream went to his core. But was it real?
He mulled it over as he walked toward his weight room. He was up. Might as well get in a workout.
On the way there he stopped by the library to pick up a book on kayaking. Perfect way to stave off boredom in between sets. He stepped toward the bookshelf but stopped cold. Something was definitely out of place. One door was all the library ever had. But now, in the far wall, was a new door.
He inched toward it as his heart pounded. No doubt. It was the door from his dream. He didn’t hesitate. He had to know. The door opened without a sound.
There was no baseball field, no grass. Just a small room with a single spotlight shining on a Wildcats baseball jersey. Number 11. His.
His fingers barely touched the jersey as he slid them slowly down its surface. The tear down the middle was gone. No evidence it had ever been torn.
As Micah sank to the floor, a peace he’d never known swept over him. It billowed around him like a space heater pumping out warm currents. He opened his left palm and pulled his finger across it like he was touching a newborn’s cheek. He gasped and a puff of laughter escaped his lips.
For the first time in twenty years, it didn’t hurt to touch the scar.
He looked at the clock on the wall: 6:45. At 6:48 he was speeding down Highway 101 toward Rick’s garage.
CHAPTER 26
Micah was convinced Rick was an iceberg, that he knew far more about the home than he’d ever revealed. It was time to