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“Pick that back up,” I said. I didn’t want pubic hair in it.

He leaned over and grabbed the lid. “Sorry,” he said. Then he dipped his fingers into the cream and rubbed it onto his cock. He dipped his fingers in again and this he used to moisturize my asshole.

My hands and feet immediately started to feel cold, like somebody had wrapped belts around them. Even though it was summer, even though it was so hot you couldn’t sleep unless you laid a wet towel across your chest, I was shaking like I was freezing cold.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You’ll like this.”

He put his hands under my ass and then he plunged his cock into my asshole.

It was not fun and I didn’t like it at all. “It hurts.” This came out in almost a whimper and I felt ashamed that I sounded like that. I didn’t even know I could make that noise.

“It’s okay,” he said again. Then he started moaning and closed his eyes. “Jesus fucking Christ you’re tight.”

The more he thrusted, the less I felt. It hurt less but it didn’t feel good.

“Oh, Jesus,” he cried.

“Shhhhhh,” I said. “Shut the fuck up. Do you want to wake the whole fucking house, you idiot?”

I wanted to get up and turn the radio on so that the sounds of this, his moaning and carrying on and the slurping noise that was coming from my ass would be muffled. But the radio was across the room.

So I closed my eyes and imagined getting up and going over to it. My imagination was vivid. I could completely visualize how it would feel to rise from the bed and step onto the sisal carpet I had taken from my mother. I could feel the scratchiness of it on the bottoms of my feet and I could feel the radio knob in my hand.

And then it was over. He pulled out of me and I was surprised by the sudden feeling of emptiness. This was followed by a wave of sadness. On the one hand, I had gotten used to the sensation of him up there, even if it made me feel really full and like I needed to take a big shit. But on the other hand I didn’t like doing it because I didn’t like him anymore and I didn’t like being on my back like that and it just seemed so weird.

He got up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and walking across the hall into the bathroom. He returned a moment later carrying one of Agnes’s pale yellow hand towels.

“You can’t use that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you just can’t. Use something else. Paper towels or something.” The feeling between my legs was repulsive. Just lying there I could feel the slickness and the very distinct sensation of his sperm leaking out of my asshole and onto my sheets, which needed washing really bad anyway.

He ended up cleaning his dick off and then my ass with my Wacky 102-FM T-shirt. It was red and tight and I hated it anyway so I didn’t care. Instead of washing it, I’d just throw it away. I’d tuck it deep into the bottom of the kitchen trash.

“You want me to suck you off?”

Instantly, my cock sprang to life. Neil had this way of sucking my cock that had addicted me to him. I’d watched him do it. It was like he slid it into his mouth between his gums and cheeks, which sounds like it would hurt, except he had really wide gums and very elastic cheeks so the feeling was incredible. I’d gotten to the point where I could come faster this way than by jerking off. In fact, with him around I almost never had to jerk off. “Yeah,” I said.

When my cock was in his mouth, he used a sideways motion with his head. So it didn’t go deep into his throat, but the part of it that was the most sensitive, the underside toward the top, this part got massaged really hard inside his mouth.

I exploded, coming in five deep spurts.

I wondered how far that would have shot if I’d been jerking off. Most of the time I would hit my chest. Sometimes my neck. And sometimes, if I were really horny, I’d shoot behind my head and hit the wall. I had a feeling now that this one would have hit the wall.

My entire body sank into the bed. I could understand why people said things like “He made me melt” on TV because that’s exactly how I felt; like I’d melted.

After feeling this for about thirty seconds