Sacred Hunger - Barry Unsworth [74]
So he lay sleepless, trying out versions of the past that might be tolerable to his imagination, while the deck above him lay awash with moonlight and the ship made steady way with all sails set and a following sea. In this warmer weather some of the crew found sleeping space on the deck. Calley, huddled in his blanket amidships, groaned in his sleep, beset by horrors. He started up at last, to stare affrighted across the moonlit deck, his face dewed with sweat. He had woken Deakin, who hissed at him, but Calley was still in the toils of nightmare and could not properly hear.
‘What is wrong with you?’ Deakin asked. ‘Why don’t you sleep and give us some peace? There, get under your blanket.’
‘It came out my mouth,’ Calley said. He was shivering. ‘Comin’ out an’ never stop.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘This white worm come out my mouth.’
‘What worm?’
‘Africa worm. Long white un’. You swallers it in the water; you can’t see it when you drinks, it is too little. It gets bigger in your stomick an’ it fills up with eggs an’ it comes out to lay the eggs in the water. It can come out anywhere, it can come out your nose, it can come out your belly-button.’
‘Who told you that?’
‘They tol’ me.’ Calley never mentioned names. His eyes started round the deck. ‘It knows when you go near the water,’ he said with wonder – he was calmer now. ‘One come out his eye, that’s why he only got one eye. It can come out your ear, it can –’
‘Keep your voice down,’ Deakin said. ‘You ought to have more sense, Dan’l. They were only trying to frighten you with them stories. You don’t drink standing water anywhere in those parts where we are going. You stick by me, you won’t get no worms.’ He looked across the deck for some moments in silence. Then he said, ‘We will run, Dan’l. You and me. First chance we get. We will get clear of this ship.’ He had never included anyone else in his plans before. Since the day of his quarrel with Libby he had known that he would have to run. No ship ever left harbour with a crew that could all be trusted. Haines or Libby or someone else would turn him in for the bounty as soon as they came up with a navy ship. Or the captain would hand him over in the West Indies to save wages on the voyage home. Once they had unloaded the negroes there would be no need for so many men. There might be a naval frigate at anchor in Kingston harbour. In any case, he could not wait to find out. For desertion he could expect two hundred lashes and he did not believe he could survive so many. He would rather take his chance ashore. ‘When we get the chance,’ he said. ‘When we get to Africa, you and me will run. But you must keep mum about it.’
‘It can come out your arse,’ Calley said. Fear had receded now but he was unwilling to part with the horror of the worm altogether. ‘It can come out your nose,’ he whispered, round-eyed in the moonlight.
‘Leave off that tack, will you? You and me will run. We will wait for our chance. Don’t you talk about this to anybody.’
‘Will we get some o’ them black cunnies?’
‘You’ll get nothing if you blab. You will get a flogging. Do you hear me, Dan’l?’ As always he saw himself breaking through. But this time not alone. There would be a place, dark among trees, where they could hide until all search was over. This would part like a screen and they would pass into the open, into light … ‘I will look after you,’ he said. ‘But you will get nothing if you blab. You will get a flogging.’
‘I won’t blab,’ Calley said. He struggled for a moment with the idea of it. ‘What will we do there?’
‘Do? We will get into trade, we will set up for ourselves.’ He did not care, really, he was occupied only with thoughts of parting