Sad cypress - Agatha Christie [7]
The sympathetic look, the interested voice, made a tender look come into the older woman’s face. She said gently:
‘I’m very fond of you, my dear. You’re very good to me.’
‘Oh, MrsWelman, it’s you who have been good to me. If it hadn’t been for you, I don’t knowwhat I should have done! You’ve done everything for me.’
‘I don’t know…I don’t know, I’m sure…’ The sick woman moved restlessly, her right arm twitched – the left remaining inert and lifeless. ‘One means to do the best one can; but it’s so difficult to know what is best – what is right. I’ve been too sure of myself always…’
Mary Gerrard said:
‘Oh, no, I’m sure you always know what is best and right to do.’
But Laura Welman shook her head.
‘No – no. It worries me. I’ve had one besetting sin always, Mary: I’m proud. Pride can be the devil. It runs in our family. Elinor has it, too.’
Mary said quickly:
‘It will be nice for you to have Miss Elinor and Mr Roderick down. It will cheer you up a lot. It’s quite a time since they were here.’
Mrs Welman said softly:
‘They’re good children – very good children. And fond of me, both of them. I always know I’ve only got to send and they’ll come at any time. But I don’t want to do that too often. They’re young and happy – the world in front of them. No need to bring them near decay and suffering before their time.’
Mary said, ‘I’m sure they’d never feel like that, Mrs Welman.’
MrsWelman went on, talking perhapsmore to herself than to the girl:
‘I always hoped they might marry. But I tried never to suggest anything of the kind. Young people are so contradictory. It would have put them off ! I had an idea, long ago when they were children, that Elinor had set her heart on Roddy. But I wasn’t at all sure about him. He’s a funny creature. Henry was like that – very reserved and fastidious…Yes, Henry…’
She was silent for a little, thinking of her dead husband.
She murmured:
‘So long ago…so very long ago…We had only been married five years when he died. Double pneumonia…We were happy – yes, very happy; but somehow it all seems very unreal, that happiness. I was an odd, solemn, undeveloped girl – my head full of ideas and hero-worship. No reality…’
Mary murmured:
‘You must have been very lonely – afterwards.’
‘After? Oh, yes – terribly lonely. I was twenty-six…and now I’m over sixty. A long time, my dear…a long, long time…’ She said with sudden brisk acerbity, ‘And now this!’
‘Your illness?’
‘Yes. A stroke is the thing I’ve always dreaded. The indignity of it all! Washed and tended like a baby! Helpless to do anything for yourself. It maddens me. The O’Brien creature is good-natured – I will say that for her. She doesn’t mind my snapping at her and she’s not more idiotic than most of them. But it makes a lot of difference to me to have you about, Mary.’
‘Does it?’ The girl flushed. ‘I – I’m so glad, Mrs Welman.’
Laura Welman said shrewdly:
‘You’ve been worrying, haven’t you? About the future. You leave it to me, my dear. I’ll see to it that you shall have the means to be independent and take up a profession. But be patient for a little – it means too much to me to have you here.’
‘Oh, Mrs Welman, of course – of course! I wouldn’t leave you for the world. Not if you want me –’
‘I do want you…’ The voice was unusually deep and full. ‘You’re – you’re quite like a daughter to me, Mary. I’ve seen you grow up here at Hunterbury from a little toddling thing – seen you grow into a beautiful girl…I’m proud of you, child. I only hope I’ve done what was best for you.’
Mary said quickly:
‘If you mean that your having been so good to me and having educated me above – well, above my station – if you think it’s made me dissatisfied or – or – given me what Father calls fine-lady ideas, indeed that isn’t true. I’m just ever so grateful, that’s all. And if I’m anxious to start earning my living, it’s only because I feel it’s right that I should, and not – and not – well, do nothing after all you’ve done for me. I – I shouldn’t like it to be thought that I was sponging on you.’
Laura Welman said, and her voice was suddenly