Salvage the Bones - Jesmyn Ward [82]
“It’s salty. Taste like pecans. And if worse comes to worst, we can eat like China.” Skeetah rubs China from her shoulders to her neck, up along her razor jaw, and holds her face, which goes wrinkly with the skin smashed forward. It looks like he is pulling her to him for a kiss. She squints. I want to kick her. Randall shoulders his box, grabs the ramen box from me, and turns to walk into the house. Junior is tying his cord around an old lawn mower now, pulling at it like he’s playing tug-of-war. The sun shines, blazes like fire, funnels down in the gaps between the trees, and lights up Skeetah and China so that they glow, each kneeling before the other, eyes together. Skeetah has already forgotten the conversation, and China never heard it.
“We ain’t no dogs,” Randall says. “And you ain’t either.” He walks between the thumb and pointer finger of the house, it clenches, and he is gone. The day goes cloudy, and stays.
THE TENTH DAY: IN THE ENDLESS EYE
I ate skeet’s eggs and bologna. He was out in the shed with China, cleaning her. I ate them all. I cleaned the plate with my tongue, licked the plate clean. I could’ve eaten the plate. Randall glanced at me once and then went to pulling all the cans out of the cabinets. We sat at the kitchen table and divided and stacked and counted: twenty-four cans of peas, five cans of potted meat, one can of tomato paste, six cans of soup, four cans of sardines, one can of corn, five cans of tuna fish, one box of saltine crackers, some cornflakes we could eat without milk. The rice, sugar, flour, and cornmeal were useless. There were thirty-five Top Ramen noodle packs.
“Shit!” Randall yelled and threw the can of tomato paste he was holding across the room. Outside, the wind pushed between the buildings.
After breakfast, I hear them talking while I’m in the bathroom. The rooster is crowing outside, and China answers him, barking. They are in Daddy’s room. When I pee and lean over to grab the toilet paper, my belly pushes into the tops of my thighs, insistent. I ignore it, ease open the door, and creep down the hallway so I can listen to Randall and Daddy through the open door.
“I know,” Randall says. “But we still don’t have enough.”
“Y’all eat them dry anyway.”
“Junior eat them dry. Nobody else do.”
Daddy breathes hard so I can hear it catching on mucus in his throat, and then he coughs it out.
“I got enough money in case it’s an emergency after the storm. Never know what will happen.”
“But what about—”
“It’s just a few hundred, son,” Daddy wheezes. He has only ever called Randall that and has only done so a few times. “I made sure we had enough can goods to last us a few days. No more, no less.”
“I don’t think it’s enough.”
“FEMA and Red Cross always come through with food. We got that much. If it’s not too bad, might still have gas.”
“Everybody still growing, Daddy. Esch, Junior, me. Even Skeet. We all hungry.”
“We make do with what we got.” Daddy coughs. “Always have. And will.” He clears his throat, spits. “Your mama—” he says, and stops. “Y’all found my wedding ring?”
“Yeah. Junior did,” Randall said. “I’ll go get it.”
And then there is just the sound of the box fan blowing hard and steady from Daddy’s dresser, moving the hot air a few feet before dying in the hot box of his room. I follow him into me and Junior’s room, root through my drawer, find the ring, sit it in the middle of his sweaty hand so he can return it to Daddy, who will slip it into his pants pocket, his shirt pocket, on a chain around his neck, anywhere that it will still touch his skin since he has lost the finger for it.
Only Daddy can stand being inside the house, dark and close. All of us, as soon as we can, are outside. There is a blue-gray sheet over the sky, and there is no sun, and the day is only better than the house because there is a pushy wind blowing,