Samantha at Saratoga [30]
for truly I wuz not in a condition to sense things much, we arrove at a street and we gladly turned our 2 frames into it, and wended our way on it, goin' at a pretty good jog. The crowd a growin' less and less and we kep a goin', and kep a goin', till Josiah sez in weary axents: "Where be you a goin', Samantha? Haint you never goin' to stop? I am fairly tuckered out." And I sez in faint axents, "I would fain reach a land where parasols and puckers are not and dogs and diamonds are no more." I wuz middlin' incoherent from my agitation. But I meant well. I wuz truly in hopes I would reach some quiet place where Josiah and me could set down alone. Where I could look in quiet and repose upon that dear bald head, and recooperate my strength. We went by beautiful places, grand houses of different colors but every one on 'em good lookin' ones, a settin' back amongst their green trees, with shady grass-covered yards, and fountains and flower beds in front of 'em, and more grand handsome houses, and more big beautiful yards, green velvet grass and beautiful flowers and fountains, and birds and beauty on every side on us. And though I felt and knew that in them big carriages that was a passin' 2 and fro all the time, though I felt that parasols, and puckers, and laces, and dogs, and diamonds, wuz a bein' borne past me all the time, yet sech is the force of my mind that I could withdraw my specks from 'em, and look at the beautiful works of nater (assisted by man) that wuz about me on every hand. Finally my long search wuz rewarded, we came to a big open gateway that seemed to lead into a large, quiet delightful forest. And in that lovely, lonesome place, Josiah and me sot down to recooperate our 2 energies. Josiah looked good to me. Men are nice creeters, but you don't want to see too meny of 'em to once, likeways with wimmen. Josiah looked to me at that moment some like a calico dress that you have picked out of a dense quantity of patterns of calico at a store, it looks better to you when you get it away from the rest. Josiah Allen looked good to me. But anon, after I had bathed my distracted eyes (as you may say) in the liniment of my pardner, I began to take in the rare beauty of the seen laid out before me and we arose and wended our way onwards peaceful and serene, as 2 childern led on by their mother. Dear Mother Nature! how dost thou rest and soothe thy distracted childern when too hardly used by the grindin', oppressive hands of fashion,and the weerisome elements of a too civilized life. Maybe thou art a heathen mother, oneducated and ignorant in all but the wisdom of love, but thy bosom is soft and restful, and thy arms lovin' and tender. And, heathen if thou art, we love thee first and at last. We are glad to slip out of all the vain and gilded supports that have held us weerily up, and lay down our tired heads on thy kindly and unquestionin' bosom and rest. As we rose from the soft turf, on which we had been a restin', and meandered on through that beautiful park, (so tenderly had nature used him,) not one trace of the wild commotion that had almost rent Josiah Allen's breast, could be seen save one expirin' threeoh of agony. As we started out ag'in, he looked down onto my faithful umberell, that had stiddied me on so many towers of principle, and sez he, in low concentrated axents of skern and bitterness, "If that wuz a dumb parasol, Samantha, I would crush it to the earth and grind it to atoms." Truly he could not forget how his bald head had been gethered in like a ripe sheaf, by 7 females, during that very walk, hombly ones too, so it had happened. But I sez nothin' in reply to this expirin' note of the crysis he had passed through, knowin' this was not the time for silver speech but for golden silence, and so we meandered onwards. And it wuz anon that we see in the distance a fair white female a standin' kinder still in the edge of the woods, and Josiah spoke in a seemin'ly careless way, and sez he, "She don't seem to have many clothes on, Samantha." Sez I, "Hush, Josiah! she has probably overslept herself,