Samantha at Saratoga [59]
jest laughed at us, the impudent Greeters. And one of the boys at that minute took up a stick and threw it, and hit Sarah right on her poor old head. Sez Josiah, "Don't you hit Sarah agin." Sez the boys, "We will," and two of 'em hit her at one time. And one of 'em knocked the pipe right out of her mouth. She wuz a smokin', poor old creeter. I s'pose that wuz all the comfort she took. But did them little imps care? They knocked her as if they hated the sight of her. And my Josiah (I wuz proud of that man) jest advanced onto 'em, and took 'em one in each hand, and gin 'em sech a shakin', that I most expected to see their bones drop out, and sez he between each shake, "Will you let Sarah alone now?" I wuz proud of my Josiah, but fearful of the effect of so much voyalence onto his constitution, and also onto the boys' frames. And I advanced onto the seen of carnage and besought him to be calm. Sez he, "I won't be calm!" sez he, "I haint the man, Samantha, to stand by and see one of your sect throwed at, as I have seen Sarah throwed at, without avengin' of it." And agin he shook them boys with a vehemence. The pennies and marbles in their pockets rattled and their bones seemed ready to part asunder. I wuz proud of that noble man, my pardner. But still I knew that if their bones was shattered my pardner would be avenged upon by incensed parents. And I sez, "I'd let 'em go now, Josiah. I don't believe they'll ever harm Sarah agin." Sez I, "Boys, you won't, will you ever strike a poor feeble old woman agin?." Sez I, "promise me, boys, not to hurt Sarah." I don't know what the effect of my words would have been, but a man came up just then and explained to me, that Aunt Sally wuz a image that they throwed at for one cent apiece to see if they could break her pipe. I see how it wuz, and cooled right down, and so did Josiah. And he gin the boys five cents apiece, and quiet rained down on the Encampment. But I sez to the man, "I don't like the idee of havin' my sect throwed at from day to day, and week to week." Sez I, "Why didn't you have a man fixed up to throw at, why didn't you have a Uncle Sam?" Sez I, "I don't over and above like it; it seems to be a sort of a slight onto my sect." Sez the man winkin' kind a sly at Josiah, "It won't do to make fun of men, men have the power in their hands and would resent it mebby. Uncle Sam can't be used jest like Aunt Sally." Sez I, "That haint the right spirit. There haint nothin' over and above noble in that, and manly." I wuz kinder rousted up about it, and so wuz Josiah. And that is I s'pose the reasun of his bein' so voyalent, at the next place of recreation we halted at Josiah see the picture of the mermaid; that beautiful female, a, settin' on the rock and combin' her long golden hair. And he proposed that we should go in and see it. Sez I, "It costs ten cents apiece, Josiah Allen. Think of the cost before it is too late." Sez I, "Your expenditure of money today has been unusial." Sez I, "The sum of ten cents has jest been raised by you for noble principles, and I honer you for it. But still the money has gone." Sez I, "Do you feel able to incur the entire expense?" Sez he, "All my life, Samantha, I have jest hankered after seein' a mermaid. Them beautiful creeters, a settin' and combin' their long golden tresses. I feel that I must see it. I fairly long to see one of them beautiful, lovely bein's before I die." "Wall," sez I, "if you feel like that, Josiah Allen, it is not fur from me to balk you in your search for beauty. I too admire loveliness, Josiah Allen, and seek after it." And sez I, "I will faithfully follow at your side, and together we will bask in the rays of beauty, together will we be lifted up and inspired by the immortal spirit of loveliness." So payin' our 30 cents we advanced up the steps, I expectin' soon to be made happy, and Josiah held up by the expectation of soon havin' his eyes blest by that vision of enchantin' beauty, he had so long dremp of. He advanced onto the pen first and before I even glanced down into the deep where as